Determine Jokes / Recent Jokes
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it in the helicopter's window. The sign said "WHERE AM I? " in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.' The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and determine the course to steer to SEATAC (Seattle/Tacoma) airport and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position. The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave more...
Q: How many MicroSoft tech support people dies it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four:
One to ask "What is the registration number of the light bulb?"
One to ask "Have you tried rebooting it?"
Another to ask "Have you tried reinstalling it?"
And the last one to say "It must be your hardware because the light bulb in our office works fine..."
Q: How many MicroSoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. Two to hold the ladder and one to hammer the bulb into a faucet.
Q: How many MicroSoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight. One to work the bulb, and seven to make sure that MicroSoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.
Q: How many MicroSoft testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We just determine that the room is dark; we don`t actually change the bulb. Since we have a dead-bulb result on file from a previous more...
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!
Are You a Guy?
Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient
Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:
Present it to the president of the United States.
Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations.
Take it apart.
As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?
Innocence.
Idealism.
Cherry bombs.
When is it okay to kiss another male?
When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)
When he is your brother and more...
War does not determine who is right – only who is left. — George Bernard Shaw
A helicopter was flying around Seattle yesterday when an electrical
malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and
communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not
determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten
sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE
AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a
large sign, and held in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A
HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the
course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU
ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position. The pilot
responded "I knew that had to more...
War doesn't determine who's right; war determines who's left.