Detroit Jokes / Recent Jokes
NFL draft pick Caleb Campbell will not get a chance to play for the Detroit Lions because of a change in military policy. The US Army felt Campbell would be safer in Iraq than in a war zone like Detroit.
All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy. MemorandumTo: All EmployeesFrom: HeadquartersSubject: Business Travel Policy GuidelinesDate: June 16, 2000Due to fiscal constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees on travel for official business. The purpose of these policies is to save money, thereby decreasing overhead. TransportationIf commercial transportation must be utilized, the lowest cost tickets will be purchased. Airline tickets will only be authorized for purchase in extreme circumstances and, the lowest fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting with a customer is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle. Bus transportation will be utilized whenever possible. Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transport is strictly encouraged. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their more...
All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy.
Memorandum
To: All Employees
From: Headquarters
Subject: Business Travel Policy Guidelines
Date: June 16, 2000
Due to fiscal constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees on travel for official business. The purpose of these policies is to save money, thereby decreasing overhead.
Transportation
If commercial transportation must be utilized, the lowest cost tickets will be purchased. Airline tickets will only be authorized for purchase in extreme circumstances and, the lowest fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting with a customer is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle. Bus transportation will be utilized whenever possible.
Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transport is strictly encouraged. Luminescent more...
Comeback quarterback Daunte Culpepper spent the day with the Detroit Lions. That should certainly cure him of his desire to ever play football again.
The Detroit Lions are reportedly on the lookout for a quarterback. In related news, Detroit fans are on the lookout for any kind of money back.
Some 40% of female gas station employees in Metro Detroit are women, up from almost none a year ago.
- Detroit News article
Marijuana Issue Sent To A Joint Committee
- Toronto Star headline
Publicize your business absolutely free! Send $6.
- Entrepreneur Magazine ad
Gators To Face Seminoles With Peters Out
- The Tallahassee Bugle
Messiah Climaxes In Chorus Of Hallelujahs
- The Anchorage, Alaska Times
Married Priests In Catholic Church A Long Time Coming
- The New Haven, Connecticut Register
Governor Chiles Offers Rare Opportunity To Goose Hunters
- The Tallahassee Democrat
Would She Climb To The Top Of Mr. Everest Again? Absolutely!
- The Houston Chronicle
Governor's Penis Busy [should be "Pen Is"]
- The New Haven, Connecticut Register
Thanks To President Clinton, Staff Sgt. Fruer Now Has A Son
- The Arkansas Plainsman
Clinton Places Dickey In Gore's Hands
- Bangor Maine News
Starr Aghast more...
Due to budget constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees traveling on official business. The policies are effective immediately.
Transportation: Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transportation is strictly encouraged. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on company business trips. Bus service will be another prime method of transportation. Airline tickets will only be authorized for purchase in extreme circumstances, and only the lower fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle.
Lodging: All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives or friends while on company business. If weather permits, public areas such as parks and parking lots should be used as temporary lodging. Bridges may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
Meals: more...