Dick Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Day an apple, a bannana, and a dick were talking about how their lives were worse. the apple said "People eat me then throw me away!" The Bannana said "People peal me, eat me, and then throw me away!" Then the dick said "People put a bag over my head, put me in a dark cave, and then make me do push ups until i throw up!"

One Day an apple, a bannana, and a dick were talking about how their lives were worse. the apple said"People eat me then throw me away!" The Bannana said "People peal me, eat me, and then throw me away!" Then the dick said "People put a bag over my head, put me in a dark cave, and then make me do push ups until i throw up!"

Q: what did the dick say to the condom?
A:cover me im going in

Lorena Bobbitt is driving along one day and throws a severed penis out
the window. It hits the windscreen of a car driving the
other way. The guy driving turns to his friend and says: "Jesus! Did
you see the size of the dick on that bug!"

A very wealthy man named Dick always had dinner parties to show off how wealthy he is. One night, the party shifted to the backyard, where Dick's pool was.

Dick announced to the everyone around, "I have a proposition for everyone. Whoever can swim across this pool filled with sharks, alligators, and snakes and makes it out alive, can have one of three things. You can have 1000 head of my cattle, 100 acres of my best oil fields, or my daughter's hand in marriage."

As soon as he said that, he heard a splash at the other end of the pool. A young man was swimming as fast and as furiously as he could. When he made it to the other end of the pool, Dick exclaimed, "Well son, I guess you want my 1000 head of cattle." The boy replied "No." "Then you want my 100 acres of my best oil fields." And again, the boy said "No." "Oh, then you want my daughter's hand in marriage."

And the boy said, "No. I more...

a guy goes in a bar and he was playing with is DICK and a lady says i like to play with my DICK to we should do it together some time

there were three men who had to find a cabin to sleep in for the night because they were out in the snow. they found a cabin and got ready for bed. before they went to bed they all said to each other "in the morning we will tell each other our dreams" and they all fell asleep. the next morning they all woke up. the first guy said"i had a dream someone was pulling my dick". the second guy came up and said "i had a dream someone was pulling my dick". the third guy came up and said i had a dream i was milking cows.