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A Networkologist's Christmas
"'Tis the night before Christmas," I thought with a frown. I was stuck at the office. The network was down. The routers were hung in the closet. All crashed. Their tables had holes in their data. All trashed.
Remote distribution, it seems, just for fun, Had erased DLLs Windows needed to run On 84 desktops way down in accounting. I sat stunned at my desk, my blood pressure mounting.
When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter, I saw that a server had something the matter. There was smoke coming out of the main hard disk drive. "No problem," I thought. "I'm set up with RAID
5."
But I found out the system I thought was unstoppable Had disk drives that turned out completely unswappable! "No problem," I thought. "I've tape backup to thank." And then I discovered my backups were blank.
The UPS burped, and its lights all went out. I started to scream! I started to shout! But nobody more...

John Bobbit Virus-
Removes a vital part of your hard disk and then re-attaches it. (But it will never work again.)
•Oprah Winfrey Virus-
Your 850 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 200 MB, and then slowly expands back to 850 MB.
•Politically Correct Virus-
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".
•Right to Life Virus-
Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.
•Government Economist Virus-
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
•Federal Bureaucrat Virus-
Divides your hard disk into thousands of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
•AT&T Virus-
Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are more...

There is the classic one (which may be an urban myth) of the secretary working in an accounting firm who is told to make back up copies of the disks every night. So every night she carefully collected together all the disks and took them away to copy them. After six months the hard disk crashed but no-one was worried because they had backups, until the secretary brought in the huge pile of paper with a nice photocopied disk on each!

A Networkologist's Christmas"'Tis the night before Christmas," I thought with a frown. I was stuck at the office. The network was down. The routers were hung in the closet. All crashed. Their tables had holes in their data. All trashed.Remote distribution, it seems, just for fun, Had erased DLLs Windows needed to run On 84 desktops way down in accounting. I sat stunned at my desk, my blood pressure mounting.When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter, I saw that a server had something the matter. There was smoke coming out of the main hard disk drive. "No problem," I thought. "I'm set up with RAID5."But I found out the system I thought was unstoppable Had disk drives that turned out completely unswappable! "No problem," I thought. "I've tape backup to thank." And then I discovered my backups were blank.The UPS burped, and its lights all went out. I started to scream! I started to shout! But nobody heard as I vented my rage. My more...

John Bobbit Virus-Removes a vital part of your hard disk and then re-attaches it. (But it will never work again.)
Oprah Winfrey Virus-Your 850 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 200 MB, and then slowly expands back to 850 MB.
Politically Correct Virus-Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".
Right to Life Virus-Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.
Government Economist Virus-Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
Federal Bureaucrat Virus-Divides your hard disk into thousands of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
AT&T Virus-Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI Virus- Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you are more...

Customer: "My disk is stuck in my disk drive. Clicking eject doesnt work." Tech Support: "Ok, turn the power to your Mac off, hold down the mouse clicker, and power the Mac back up." Customer: "Look, I dont have three hands!"