Diver Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.The diver went below another 20 ft, but the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the hell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote -"I'M DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!"

One day, a scuba diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level.
Looking around, he saw a guy at the same depth without any scuba gear on, so, he decided to go down another 20 feet.
He took another look around, and low and behold, there was the same guy.
I can't believe it, thought the scuba diver; I bet he can't go down another 25 feet....
So the diver goes down another 25 feet and, again, there is the guy!
Totally amazed, the scuba diver pulls out a chalkboard and writes, "How the heck are you able to go so deep and stay under so long without any equipment?"
The guy grabs the chalkboard and frantically writes: "I'm drowning you moron!"

Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section of forest whilst assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with a dive tank, flippers and face mask. A post mortem examination revealed that the person died not from burns but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about determining how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that, on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast - some 20 kilometers away from the forest. The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large buckets. The buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling, then flown to the forest fire and emptied. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing a breaststroke in a fire bucket 300m in more...

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.
The diver went below another 20 ft but the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him.
This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the hell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote,
"I'M DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!"

It is said that a guy wrote the following letter to his sister. He is a commercial diver for Global Divers out of Louisiana. Anytime you think you have had a bad day at the office, remember this letter....

April, 1998

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cold. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temp. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the more...