Join Jokes

A man was on a bridge as a news reporter walked by. She was told that if she didn't cover another story in 2 hours, she'd be fired. All of a sudden, the man starts to count "1,2,.."
"Wait!" interrupts the reporter.
"What is it?"
"What are you trying to do?"
"I'm going to commit suicide."
"May I join you?"
"Certainly."
The two shout "1,2..."
They're interrupted by a man walking down the street.
"May I join you?" he asks.
"Sure."
"1,2..."
As soon as the two men said 3, they jumped off, but the clever reporter stayed behind.
"3,2,1, and cue!"
"Good evening, I am just arriving at the scene of a crime. Two men just jumped off of this bridge."

Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son?”“My father said it'd be a good idea, sir.”“Oh? And what does your father do?”“He's in the Army, sir.”

On a nice, bright sunshiney day, three couples came to visit the local Priest in order to join the Catholic Church. By a strange coincidence, One couple was young, one was old and one was middle-aged.
The Priest told the couples that they could join the church only if they proved they were sincere by first abstaining from sex for one week. The couples all agreed to meet back at the church in one week.
One week later, as promised, the couples all came back and the Priest asked of the Old Couple,
"Did you abstain from sex?"
The old couple both shook their heads and the Priest said, "Fine! Welcome to the Catholic Church!"
The Priest then asked the middle-aged couple, "Did you abstain from sex?". The Middle Aged woman smiled and said, "It was tough, but we made it."
"FINE! Welcome to the Catholic Church!"
The priest then turned to the young couple and asked, "Did you abstain from sex?"
The young more...

By Andrew Marlatt
Sunday, February 10, 2002; Page B05
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China and Syria today announced they had formed the Axis of Just as Evil, which they said would be "way eviler" than the Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name.
"Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean President Kim Jong Il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils....I mean the best at being evil....We're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. more...

Moshe Rabbinowitz decides to join the country club near his home. He goes in and is turned down flat because he does not meet their "standards." So he enrolls in the finest schools to learn the art of being culturally rich. Moshe learns to cook the finest of foods, appreciate the best art, drive the best car, wear the classiest suits, etc. He even hires Professor Henry Higgins to educate him in the proper speech and behavior.The big day arrives. Martin James Roget arrives at the country club forhis interview. "Tea?" the interviewer asks. "Earl Grey, hot please." "Hobbies?" "Polo, racket ball, hunting." "Religion?" "Goy."