Diving Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met.
2. Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today.
3. Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
4. Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
5. Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim.
6. Hit strangers with your flutter board.
7. Ask an attractive lifeguard to practise CPR on you.
8. Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, ''Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good....''
9. Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move.
10. Swim near a stranger and say, ''Dammit I knew I shouldn't have had watermelon before I came here.''
11. Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool.
12. Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say ''HA-HA, fooled you!''
13. Scream as someone is trying to do something when jumping off of a diving board.
14. more...

An avid skin diving treasure hunter became disillusioned after spending his entire Florida vacation searching for underwater treasure, only to find none at all.
Disheartened, he spent his last day simply paddling around in the shallow waters near the shore. The entire scene seeemed really dark, when he banged his shin on something unseen on the bottom.
Digging down to find out the cause of his pain, he found an old chest full of precious gems, silver and gold.
That, of course, brightened his outlook considerably. He was heard to remark afterwards, "It only goes to show you that booty is shin deep!"