Doc Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Doc, I can't stop singing' The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

Bill goes to visit his doctor on his birthday, a look of concern quite evident on his face. The doctor says, "Hey there, Bill. What seems to be the problem?"

"Well, Doc," Bill replies, "It's a little embarrassing.

You see, when I was 14, my erections were like solid steel... I couldn't bend them down or from side to side."

The doctor nodded.

"When I was 24," Bill continued, "I found I could bend my erections down just a bit."

The doctor nodded.

"When I was 34, I found I could bend them a couple of inches down, and at least an inch to either side."

The doctor nodded once again.

Bill went on, "And now that I'm 44, I find that I can bend my erections almost all the way down and side to side. So, Doc, I'm really worried, and I have just one question to ask you."

"And what would that be, Bill?" replied the more...

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground, when he finally gets himself to the doctor.
He says, " How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said, " I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."
So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.
She says, " You are my first, no one has ever touched these breasts."
He whips down his pants and says... " Look at this, it's still in the crate!"

An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so really far out and there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath." Hit him again Doc, Hit him again!" the 5 yr. old said." He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!!"

When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."
"Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked.
"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family."
"Oh, come now," I said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?"
He sighed. "You oughta meet' em sometime, Doc!"

A couple went for their yearly checkups.
The doctor saw the man first and asked him how he'd
been feeling. " I have one problem, Doc," he answered.
"The first time my wife and I made love everything
was just great, but the second time I sweat a lot"
The doctor completed the physical and then examined the wife.
"Your husband says that the first time you two
made love, that things were great, but that
he perspired the second time". Do you have any idea why this might be
asked the Doc.
" Of course I do!" she sxclaimed.
" The first time was in winter and the second time
was in summer".

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to thedoctor. He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin." The doc said, "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided splint, held together with surgical wire. It was an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girlfriend. They marry and on their honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he ever saw them. She says, "You are the first, no one has ever touched these breasts." He pulls down his pants, whips out his splinted cock and says, "Look at this beauty, it's still in the CRATE!"