Doc Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bholaji goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I ache all over. Every where I touch it hurts." The doc says "Ok, touch your elbow."
Bholaji touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. The doc, surprised, says "touch your head."
Bholaji touches his head and jumps in agony. The doc asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens.
Every where Bholaji touches it hurts like hell. The doc is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays etc... and tells Bhola to come back after two days. Two days later Bhola comes back and the doctor says, "We've found your problem..." "Oh yeah? what is it? "' You've broken your finger!'
One day a man got into an accident.
"too bad":).
He is in the hospital.
Doctor comes in to the room and tells him
"Hey Buddy! I have some -Good News n Bad News 4U!!! "
"What do you wanna hear first???"
The poor guy looks at the doc and ask him
"Ohh damn Ok, tell me the Bad news first doc?"
The doc told him.
"Im afriad that you are goin to lose your both legs, my friend!!!"
The guy looks sadly at him and asked the doc,
"Ok, then what is the good news, doc, huh?"
The doc looks at him and said
"The Good news is that
SOMEBODY WANTS TO BUY YOUR SHOES!!!": o)
A Texas millionaire had fallen ill. The doctors consulted did not seem to understand what ailed him. The millionaire let it be known that any doctor who could heal him could have whatever he desired.
A country doctor was finally able to cure him, and as the doctor was leaving after a week's stay, the Texan said, "Doc! I am a man of my word. You name it, and if it is humanly possible I'll get it for you."
"Well," said the doctor, "I love to play golf, so if I could have a matching set of golf clubs, that would be fine." With that the physician left.
The doctor didn't hear from the Texan millionaire for some months. Then, one day, he got a phone call from the millionaire.
"Doc, I bet you thought that I had gone back on my word. I have your matching set of golf clubs. The reason it took so long is that two of them didn't have swimming pools, and I didn't think they were good enough for ya. So I had pools installed and they're all more...
A guy walks into his doctor`s office and says, "Ddddoc, I`ve bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III`m tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp mmme???"
The doc says, "Well, I`ll have to examine you first before I can answer you."
The doc examines him and says, "Well, I`m pretty sure that I know what the problem is."
The guy asks, "wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"
The doc says,"It`s your penis. It`s about about 18 inches long and all of the down pressure is putting a strain on your vocal chords."
The guy asks, "Wwwhat ccan wwe ddo about it?"
The doc replies, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one. I can guarantee that the operation will cure your stuttering."
The guy says, "Dddo it!"
The guy has the operation and about four weeks later he comes back to the doctor`s office and says, "Thanks Doc. You`ve solved my problem and I don`t stutter any more but I`ve more...
A man went to his doctor, seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy.
"When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it completely up your butt. Then remove it, rewrap it, and place it back with all the others, in such a fashion as you can't tell which one it is. The aversion is obvious, you won't dare smoke any of them, not knowing which is the treated cigar."
"Thanks doc, I'll try it." And he did. But three weeks later he came back and saw the doctor again.
"What? My recommendation didn't work? It was supposed to be effective even in the most addictive of cases, such as yours is!" answered the doctor.
"Well, it kind of worked, doc. At least I was able to transfer my addiction," replied the patient.
"What is that supposed to mean?" demanded the more...
"Doc, you've gotta help me! My wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?" "Look, I can't prescribe...""Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I'm desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You've got to help me. "The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE.""I don't know, doc; she's awfully cold...""One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?" "Um... okay."
He thanks the doc and heads for home where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. In fumbling haste, pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife's coffee. He thinks for a moment, hesitates, more...
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in thecrotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally getshimself to the doctor. He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on myhoneymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way." The doc said, "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let itheal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." So he tookfour tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage andwired it all together. It was an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girlfriend. They marry and ontheir honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse toreveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he eversaw them. She says, "You are the first, no one has ever touched thesebreasts." He pulls down his pants, whips it out and says, "Look atthis, it's still in the CRATE! "