Doubt Jokes / Recent Jokes
When all else fails, try the boss’s suggestion.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder.
When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.
When in doubt, take all the time you need to get all the facts, or all the time you have, whichever is less.
When in doubt, use brute force.
When in trouble, delegate.
When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.
When it’s you against the world, bet on the world.
When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.
When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity. For every week you are away and get nothing done, there is another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.
Yuppie pregnant women don’t go into labor, they go straight into management.
Scene: A court room in Oklahoma where a person is on trial for murder. There is strong evidence indicating guilt; however, there is no corpse.
In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client is guilty and that it looks like he'll probably be convicted, resorts to a clever trick.
''Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,'' the lawyer says as he looks at his watch. 'Within 1 minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this court room,' he says and he looks toward the courtroom door. The jury, somewhat stunned, all look on eagerly. A minute passes. Nothing happens.
Finally the lawyer says: 'Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.'
The jury, clearly confused, retires to deliberate.
A very few minutes later, more...
It is now beyond any doubt that cigarettes are the biggest cause of statistics.
In some remote village of India, one masterji is
teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students.
He is at the `krishnajanma` a part of it.
Masterji: "Kamsa heard the akashwani that his sister`s 8th child is going
to kill him.
He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind the bars.
First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning...
Second one is born n kamsa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one isborn.....
Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand.
"Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused)"
Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt
in Mahabharata then how come u have one?"
Ramu: " Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki`s 8th child
was going to kill him, Then
“WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND more...
Guilty Scene: A court room in Oklahoma where a person is on trial for murder. There is strong evidence indicating guilt; however, there is no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client is guilty and that it looks like he'll probably be convicted, resorts to a clever trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer says as he looks at his watch. "Within 1 minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this court room," he says and he looks toward the courtroom door. The jury, somewhat stunned, all look on eagerly. A minute passes. Nothing happens. Finally the lawyer says:' Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." The jury, clearly confused, retires to deliberate. A very few more...
A man is talking to his best friend about married life. "You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt." His friend says, "Yeah, I know what you mean." A couple of weeks later the man has to go out of town on business. Before he goes, he gets together with his friend. "While I'm away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there's always that doubt." The friend agrees to help out, and the man leaves town. Two weeks later he comes back and meets his friend. "So did anything happen?" "I have some bad news for you," says the friend. "The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. more...
There once was a sheriff who, no matter what the situation, always said, "It could have been worse" after viewing the scene of the crime. It drove his two deputies absolutely crazy.
One day, the two deputies in the Sheriff's Office answered an emergency call at a farmhouse. When they walked in, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in the bedroom. They both had been shot to death. When the deputies went to the living room, they found the body of a man with a gun at his side.
"No doubt about it," one deputy said to the other. "This was a double murder and suicide. This guy came home and found his wife in bed with somebody else and shot them both. Then he shot himself."
"You're right," the other deputy replied. "Double murder and suicide. But I'll bet you when the sheriff gets here, he's going to say' It could have been worse' as he always does!"
"No way. How could it be worse? There are three people in more...