Douche Jokes / Recent Jokes

A drunk man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While he waits for the bartender to mix his cocktail, he notices a woman alone at the end of the bar. When his drink comes, he says, "Hey b-b-b-artender. Give that douche bag at the end of the bar a drink for me."
The bartender tells the drunk to keep his voice down, but the drunk is belligerent. "Give that douche bag at a drink, dammit!" he shouts.
The bartender becomes angry. "Sir, I will not permit you to sit here and call the lady names."
The drunk persists. "For the last time, bartender, bring me my drink and give that douche bag down there a drink, too!"
Attempting to quell the growing disturbance, the bartender approaches the woman and apologizes for the behavior of the drunk. "The gentleman insists upon buying you a drink, ma'am. What can I get for you?"
The woman replies, "Oh,... I'll have a vinegar and water, please!"

Joe Lieberman recently lost the CT democratic nomination to Ned Lamont. Lieberman claims it isn't his fault he's been getting a douche bag image. Lieberman arues that Lamont has linked him to other douche bags who resemble him...

Why do they call it disposable douche? Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we have hot water heaters?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" more...