Driver Jokes / Recent Jokes

A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops in a bar for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!" He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, and says, "You smell kind of nerdy, and just what do you do for a living?" The truck driver says, "I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I'm hauling." The bartender says, "OK, truck drivers are not nerds," and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver asks, "Why did you do that?" The bartender said, "Oh, don't worry, the nerds are over-populating the Silicon Valley, and are in season now. You don't even need a more...

This rich guy from the north is driving his Lincoln Continental down
to New Orleans. Along the way he picks up a redneck.

The redneck looks quizzically at the dash board and says, "What are
those thangs?" The driver says, "Those are golf tees".

The redneck asks, "What those are for?" The driver says "Those hold
my balls when I drive."

The redneck says, "Sheeit, these Lincolns sure come with
everythang!"

A woman passenger in a horse-drawn cab has offered the driver
a large tip if he can deliver her to her destination in a
hurry. However, she is horrified at the cruel whipping the
driver is giving the horse to make him go faster.
"My good man, is there no other way you could urge the horse
along?" she asks.
"Yessum," the cab driver cheerfully replies, "but, I've got
to save his balls for the hill!"

An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him. "If you get in the car," the driver says, "I'll give you $10 and a piece of candy." The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man driving the car pulls over again. "How about $20 and two pieces of candy?" The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on walking. Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side road. "OK," he says, "this is my final offer. I'll give you $50 and all the candy you can eat." The little boy stops, goes to the car and leans in. "Look," he says to the driver. "You bought the Chevrolet, Dad. You'll have to live with it!"

A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops in a bar for a beer.
As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!" He goes in and sits down.
The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, and says, "You smell kind of nerdy, and just what do you do for a living?"
The truck driver says, "I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I'm hauling."
The bartender says, "OK, truck drivers are not nerds," and serves him a beer.
As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long.
The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away.
The truck driver asks, "Why did you do that?"
The bartender said, "Oh, don't worry, the nerds are over-populating the Silicon Valley, and are in more...

A driver on a country road looked in his rear-view mirror to see a motorcyclist overtaking him rapidly. The motorcyclist was leaning back in the seat with one leg hooked over the handlebars as his hands fished around in his pockets.
As he drew level to the car, the motorcyclist pulled out a packet of cigarettes, put one in his mouth, and tapped on the driver's window. He then asked the surprised driver if he had a match.
'Don't you realise you could kill yourself doing that?' the driver asked.
'No worries,' said the motorcyclist.' This is only my second cigarette today.'

A preacher dies, and when he gets to Heaven, he sees a New York cab driver who has more crowns. He says to an angel, "I don't get it. I devoted my whole life to my congregation." The angel says, "We reward results. Did your congregation always pay attention when you gave a sermon?" The preacher says, "Once in a while someone fell asleep." The angel says, "Right. And when people rode in this guy's taxi, they not only stayed awake, but they usually prayed!"