Drove Jokes / Recent Jokes

On her way home a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said"CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

Below are actual insurance claim form gaffes. These are NEW (mostly), and are the collection made by Norwich Union for their annual Christmas mag... but. .. they've escaped.

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?

A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were: Q - What warning was given by you? A - Horn Q - What warning was given by the other party? A - Moo

"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front more...

The following are actual statements found in insurance forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words.
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother- in-law, and headed over the embankment.
I attempted to kill a fly, and I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been driving for forty years, when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble and my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
An invisible more...

The following are actual statements found in insurance forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words.Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother- in-law, and headed over the embankment.I attempted to kill a fly, and I drove into a telephone pole.I had been driving for forty years, when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble and my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.An invisible car come out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.I more...

The following are actual statements found on Insurance Forms where car drivers attempted to summuarise the details of an accident in the fewest possible words. The instance of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing can be highly entertaining.
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge more...

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car
drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest
words. These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even
incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
I thought my windows was done but I found out it was up when I put my head
through it.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I
hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and
headed over the embankment.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants more...