Drown Jokes / Recent Jokes

1) Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met. 2) Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people kind of almost drown today. 3) Ask people if they have seen your pet shark. 4) Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys. 5) Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim. 6) Hit strangers with your flutter board. 7) Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you. 8) Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, "Oh yeah.. oooh that feels soooo good.." 9) Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move. 10) Swim near someone and go "Shoot! I knew I shouldn't have had so much lemonade before I came here." 11) Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool. 12) Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say "HA HA, fooled you!" 13) Scream as someone is jumping off of a diving board. 14) Laugh at fat people in swimsuits. 15) Tell more...

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the, "How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at thebottom of the pool!

Did you here about the idiot carpenter?
He cut a board three times, It was still to short.

"Pollution" is when you drown one lawyer in a river.
Solution is when you drown all the lawyers in a river.

What did the Jewish Americna Princess women consider the perfect husband?
A guy who's rich, anorexic, and impotent. That way she doesn't have to work, cook, or f*ck.

What's the deal with sex these days? Nobody wants to cuddle. The whores just get out of the car and leave.

Why do men take showers instead of baths?
Because pissing in the bathtub is just gross.

Hey, if we're not supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Said about a pregnant woman " Someone poked fun at her, and she took it seriously! "

Sign on a porta-john: "We're number one in the buisiness of number two."

How do you drown a Haitian?
Give him a shoebox and tell him it floats.

1. Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met.
2. Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today.
3. Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
4. Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
5. Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim.
6. Hit strangers with your flutter board.
7. Ask an attractive lifeguard to practise CPR on you.
8. Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, ''Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good....''
9. Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move.
10. Swim near a stranger and say, ''Dammit I knew I shouldn't have had watermelon before I came here.''
11. Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool.
12. Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say ''HA-HA, fooled you!''
13. Scream as someone is trying to do something when jumping off of a diving board.
14. more...

*Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met.
*Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today.
*Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
*Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
*Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim.
*Hit strangers with your flutter board.
*Ask an attractive lifeguard to practise CPR on you.
*Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, ''Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good....''
*Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move.
*Swim near a stranger and go ''Dammit I knew I shouldn't have had watermelon before I came here.''
*Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool.
*Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say ''HA-HA, fooled you!''
*Scream as someone is trying to do something when jumping off of a diving board.
*Laugh at fat people in more...

how do ya drown a blonde? put
a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell them to scratch and sniff