Drug Addict Jokes / Recent Jokes
The first of the semi-legendary "I Am Drugs" shorts created for my short lived sketch group The Decline and Fall Of Saturday Night. Jeff Dickinson is the perfect spokesman for capital "A" Alcohol, which you can see above. Other drug PSA's include Weed (Dave Baldwin), Heroin (Diane O'Debra), PCP (Matt Preskenis), and Dimethyltryptamine-42 (Sean Crespo). The shorts uploaded here are the versions currently airing on FUSE network's show "Munchies," minus the music we were originally using, R.E.M.'s I Am Superman. Directed/Edited by Alan Harris. Written by Sean Crespo/Matt Preskenis. a DRINK AT WORK production
A Vermont Police department is distributing beer mugs with police logos on them to local bars to help remind patrons not to drink and drive. They also plan to distribute crack pipes with Whitney Houston's picture to remind people not to smoke crack.
A study in Britain shows stressed-out women who work long hours eat more high-fat snacks, exercise less, and smoke more than their male colleagues. The study showed men's reaction to women under such stress was to mercilessly berate them for eating more, not exercising enough and smoking too much.
The report found that poor eating habits were linked to one or more stressful events such as making a presentation, meeting with the boss and in particular, being the subject of a study about stress.
For men, working longer hours has no negative impact on exercise, caffeine intake or smoking, but did increase their state of denial about their receding hairlines, love handles and impotence.
"I haven't had a drink in seven days. Or anything," she says. "I'm not even legal to, so why would I? I don't drink when I go to clubs. I drink with my friends at home, but there's no need to. I feel better not drinking. It's more fun. I have Red Bull. Sometimes I put some vodka in it. I don't drink though. Occasionally I will have a shot of tequila when I'm doing coke. But I don't do coke. Sometimes I have a little coke when I've been doing heroin all day. Which makes it fortunate that I don't do heroin. Except during my menstrual period...and other days. Wow, that was a mouthful, I could use a drink. But I don't drink."
A magnitude 2.4 earthquake struck Berkeley, California early this morning, leaving hundreds of gallons of spilled bong water in its wake.
Marijuana is now the biggest cash crop grown in the US, exceeding traditional harvests such as wheat, corn and soy beans, says a new report.
The report goes on to mention the completely unrelated story that sales of Twinkies and Pringles have increased exponentially.
Police in Cape Girardeau, Missouri arrived at a Sonic's drive-in and arrested the manager for cooking methamphetamine in the restaurant. It is expected to become the healthiest item on the value menu.