Heroin Jokes

In a bid to resolve a sticky mess, a judge has decided that an Argentine company can continue making its own Bazooka gum even though its relationship with gum company that made the brand famous has long since soured.
After hearing the news, Bazooka CFO Joseph G. Epstein (aka "Bazooka Joe) was so unbelievably distraught he apparently comitted suicide.
Authorities claim the cause of death was an overdose of a lethal cocktail of pure heroin, "Pop Rocks" and tropical flavored "Razzles"

Bazooka Joe
Comic Icon, U.S. Senator, Eye-Patch Supermodel, Famous Nazi Hunter
1933-2006

Dear Ann Landers,

I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy.

My parents live in the suburb of Seatoun and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is married to an Australian.

My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana, distribution of Cocaine, as well as Heroin.

They are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Auckland.

I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non parole life sentence in Mt. Eden Prison, Auckland, for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being
held in the Wellington remand center on charges of incest with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Christchurch and indeed is still a
part time "working girl" in a Brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD.

We intend more...

7lb. Turkey
2 TBS. Butter
5 grams Heroin
Salt and Pepper to taste
Balloon

Rinse Turkey well and place in roasting pan breast side down. Grease Turkey with butter. Place Heroin in Balloon and shove it into Turkey cavity. Salt and Pepper. Cover and place in oven at 350 for 7 hours or until the balloon busts. Let cool for 30 minutes. Carve and Enjoy!

"I haven't had a drink in seven days. Or anything," she says. "I'm not even legal to, so why would I? I don't drink when I go to clubs. I drink with my friends at home, but there's no need to. I feel better not drinking. It's more fun. I have Red Bull. Sometimes I put some vodka in it. I don't drink though. Occasionally I will have a shot of tequila when I'm doing coke. But I don't do coke. Sometimes I have a little coke when I've been doing heroin all day. Which makes it fortunate that I don't do heroin. Except during my menstrual period...and other days. Wow, that was a mouthful, I could use a drink. But I don't drink."

This one girl brought her twin sister on Dr. Phil as an incentive to quit heroin. Is that just me or is that more of an incentive to use drugs.