Drugstore Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's more...

John was a clerk in a small drugstore, but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. The drugstore owner had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.
Just then a man came in coughing and asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might, John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering the owner's warning, John sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and instructed him to take the entire box all at once. The customer immediately consumed the entire box in the store and then walked outside and leaned against a lamppost. The drugstore owner had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.
"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once." "Ex- Lax won't cure a cough!" the owner shouted angrily.
"Sure it will," John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamppost. more...

A duck walks into a drugstore and says to the pharmacist, “Gimme a chap stick. ”
The pharmacist asks the duck, “Will that be cash or charge? ”
The duck replies, “Just put it on my bill. ”
The next day, the duck goes back to the drugstore and says to the clerk, “Give me a box of condoms. ”
The clerk says, “Do you want me to also put them on your bill? ”
The duck says, “Hell no, I’m not that kind of duck! ”

John was a clerk in a small drugstore, but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. The drugstore owner had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then a man came in coughing and asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might, John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering the owner’s warning, John sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and instructed him to take the entire box all at once. The customer immediately consumed the entire box in the store and then walked outside and leaned against a lamppost. The drugstore owner had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired. “He wanted something for his cough but I couldn’t find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once. ” “Ex- Lax won’t cure a cough! ” the owner shouted angrily. “Sure it will, ” John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamppost. “Look at him. He’s more...

Two
old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a
smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled
out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette,
and continued smoking.
Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't
get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local
drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she
wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed,
looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80
years old), but very delicately asks what brand she
prefers.
"Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted

A guy goes to a travel agent and tries to book a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. The travel agent says that all the ships are booked up and things are very tight but he will see what he can do.
A couple of days later, the travel agent phones and says he can get them on a three-day cruise. The guy agrees and goes to the drugstore to buy three Dramamine and three condoms.
Next day, the agent calls back and says he now can book a five-day cruise. The guy says he'll take it and returns to the same pharmacy and buys two more Dramamine and two more condoms.
The following day, the travel agent calls again and says he can now book an eight-day cruise. The guy agrees and goes back to the drugstore and asks for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.
Finally, the pharmacist asks, "Look, if it gives you motion sickness, why do you keep doing it?"

A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."