Drummer Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes? So you don't have to retrain the drummers.

Drummers are radical. Specific personalities vary, but are always extreme. A drummer might be the funniest person in the world, or the most psychotic, or the smelliest. Drummers are uneasy because of the many jokes about them, most of which stem from the fact that they aren't really musicians.
Pianists are particularly successful at making drummers feel bad. Most drummers are highly excitable; when excited, they play louder. If you decide to talk to the drummer during a break, always be careful not to sneak up on him.

& Q. How can you tell if a plane is full of flute players?
A. When the engines stop, the whining continues
&
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They have a machine that does that now.
Q: What do you call someone who hangs around a bunch of musicians?
A: A drummer.
Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door?
A: The knocking always speeds up.
Q: Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room?
A: They never know when to come in.
Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light buld?
A: 50. 1 to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that
better.
Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control?
A: Their personality.
Q: How do lead trumpet players greet each other?
A: "Hi, I`m better than you."
Q: What`s the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?
A: "I didn`t wake up this more...

Stepping off the bandstand at a psychedelic discotheque, the long-haired drummer approached a miniskirted chick and asked if she'd like to join him for a steak dinner. "No, I'm a vegetarian," she confided. "Vegetables are the only thing I eat."

"Well, then, let's go to my pad," he offered. "I'm a humanitarian."

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.
Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."