"Question and answers" joke

& Q. How can you tell if a plane is full of flute players?
A. When the engines stop, the whining continues
&
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They have a machine that does that now.
Q: What do you call someone who hangs around a bunch of musicians?
A: A drummer.
Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door?
A: The knocking always speeds up.
Q: Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room?
A: They never know when to come in.
Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light buld?
A: 50. 1 to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that
better.
Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control?
A: Their personality.
Q: How do lead trumpet players greet each other?
A: "Hi, I`m better than you."
Q: What`s the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?
A: "I didn`t wake up this morning..."
Q: What`s the difference between a moose and a blues band?
A: The moose has the horns up front and the asshole behind.
Q: How many members of U2 does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Bono holds up the light bulb, and the universe revolves
around his ass.
Q: Why is it good that drummers have a half ounce more brains than horses?
A: So they don`t disgrace themselves in parades.
Q: What`s the difference between a band director lying dead in the road and a squirrel?
A: The squirrel has skid marks.
Q: What`s the difference between a trombonist lying dead in the road and a squirrel lying dead in the road?
A: The squirrel might have been on his way to a gig.
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor
Q: What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
A: Drool.
Q: How do you get a trumpet player and an alto saxophonist to play in tune?
A: Shoot the alto player.
Q: What`s the difference between a viola and a violin?
A: A violin burns faster.
Q: Why is a violist like a terrorist?
A: They both f**k up bowings.
Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathisers.
Q: What`s the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?
A: A dressmaker tucks up frills.
Q: What`s the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.