Dust Jokes / Recent Jokes
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for Fords,
our tools would rust.
A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. "What's wrong?" asked his mother. "Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?" he sobbed. "In a way they do," said his mother. "And when they die so they turn back to dust?" "Yes, they do." The little boy began to cry again. "Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going."
1. When I forget to go to the grocery store, I will not boil the macaroni necklaces my children made for me in preschool.
2. When I hear one of my children wake in the middle of the night, I will run upstairs to supervise before he relieves himself in the sink and then creeps into the bathtub to return to sleep.3. I will pack the kids' lunch boxes the night before so I don't throw in a slab of frozen lasagna as they're running for the bus. "It'll defrost by lunch. If not, you can suck it like an ice pop."
4. I will resist the urge to explain to strangers why my son is wearing winter boots, a bathing suit bottom, and an inside-out and backward pajama top. I will be grateful that he is able to dress himself.5. I will not tell my children that the Play-Doh dried up just because I don't feel like cleaning up after they use it, even though I know it means I'll spend the evening harvesting the colored stuff from the carpet fibers, chair cushions and the dog's more...
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife' Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.' What the Hell is this??' he said to himself as a little' dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'April,' he hollered into the bathroom,' why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'
She replied with a snicker...'It's not talcum powder......It's' Miracle Grow'
Vaccum Cleaner
#.An old woman was once cleaning her carpet when suddenly she heard a knock. She walks up to the
door and there stood this well built man with a vacuum cleaner.
Old woman: Young man, how may i help you?
Young man: Well, I've got this vacuum cleaner and would like you to try it.
(He enters the room and starts spreading the dust that the old woman had gathered on the carpet.
Old woman: What do you think you are doing?
Young man: You just watch me; you see this (pointing at the vacuum cleaner).It will clean your carpet
and make it new as the very first day you bought it.
He collected more dust and soot and pressed them hard on the carpet with his shoe.
He then reached for the vacuum cleaner and asked, where can I plug this?
The old woman stared at him for a while and replied, there is no electricity in this village yet, it is only in the next two village which is about 56km from here.
1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.
2. If disturbed, dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands," and claim an ecological exemption.
3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5, and leave it alone.
4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"
5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say more...
The wind blew so much dust around the field today, we couldn't even see who was beating us.