Dutch Jokes

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
3. a. You can legally kill yourself
3. b. You can legally be killed
4. You're exactly like the Germans, without an uneery sense of guilt.
5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks
Copenhagen is your capital.....
6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition.
7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country
8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours.
9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your bike, blame the Germans.
10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
1. You get to speak three languages, but none of more...

How about making the evening a Dutch treat?" cooed the delectable blonde to her handsome escort. "You pay for dinner and drinks-and the rest of the evening will be on me."

Gallic Wars: Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
Italian Wars: Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
War of Devolution: Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
The Dutch War: Tied
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label more...

Q. Why couldn't the Lesbian tennis star compete in the Dutch Open? A. She got her finger caught in a dike!

In Mumbai Thursday, the father, mother and son of Ayub Kolsawala, one of those held in Amsterdam after an incident on a flight to India.

PARIS, Aug. 24 - Dutch authorities said Thursday that they were releasing all 12 passengers arrested on Wednesday after they aroused susp*cion on a Northwest Airlines flight to India and it made an emergency landing in Amsterdam.
The men, all Indian citizens or of Indian descent, had aroused the susp*cion of the crew and several federal air marshals when they began using and passing around cellphones soon after takeoff from Amsterdam, and ignored orders to keep their seat belts on and stay in their seats.
In a related story, Sprint tech support had over one-hour waits since 12 of their employees were unable to get to work.