E-mails Jokes / Recent Jokes

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M’s. . .
.. . sent to me because I forwarded their e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is “MM” in Roman numerals when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken - which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there’s no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC.
Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said “Call 911! ”. . .
But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened e-mail entitled “Join the more...

I am a college student.
I've missed class to watch Jenny Jones. I've partied until 7 in the morning. I live for Southpark and Sportscenter.
I watch Jerry Springer religiously.
I'm broke. I've spent over $300 at one time buying text books. I spend that much in a month on beer. I drink 'til the sun comes up. I wake up 10 minutes before class.
I fall asleep 10 minutes into class.
I can't remember the last time I washed my car.
I'm not sure where the library is.
I procrastinate. I'm lazy. C2H5OH is my favorite chemical compound.
I'd rather do E-mails than do schoolwork. I'd rather sleep than do E-mails. I'd rather drink than sleep. I fund the University through my parking tickets and phone bills. I drink on Sundays. I have an alcohol bottle collection on display in my room. I haven't eaten breakfast in a year.
I order pizza at midnight. I make popcorn at 1:00. I do E-mails at 2:00. I watch TV at 3:00. I go to sleep around 4:00. I know the Greek alphabet more...

Why dont vikings send e-mails? They prefer to use Norse code.

How do snowmen read their e-mails? With an icy-stare!

Why dont you stamp e-mails? Because your foot would go right through the computer screen!

Another "ping",
Are you listenin'?
The puter screen,
Is a glistenin'.
With icons so bright,
They light up the night,
Welcome to the e-mail wonderland!
Gone away,
Are the hall talks.
Here to stay,
Is the IN-BOX.
Flagged "urgent, please read!",
And "answer with speed!".
Welcome to the e-mail wonderland!
In the morning e-mails start to add up.
No lunch today cause messages abound.
Just click away and hope the server stays up.
You can't do your job if it goes down.
10 P. M.,
You're not tired.
The caffeine,
Has got you wired.
The day's not complete,
Till the last delete,
Welcome to the e-mail wonderland!
In the morning e-mails start to add up,
No lunch today cause messages abound.
Just click away and hope the server stays up.
You can't do your job if it goes down.
Until you,
Are retired,
The same old more...