Easier Jokes / Recent Jokes
It's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.
Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and upon seeing the cat, he said, as gently as he could, "I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lucy".
"So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?" asked Lucy as she fought back the tears.
At a loss for something to say, the father replied, "Tiddles' legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and lift Tiddles up to heaven".
The Jesus story helped Little Lucy take poor Tiddles death a little easier. However, a few days later when her father came home from work, Lucy had tears in her eyes and said: "Daddy! Mommy almost died this morning".
Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the little girl and shouted, "How do you mean, Lucy? Tell Daddy!"
"Well", more...
It's easy to turn a computer on - just flip the switch.
Virtual dancing baby easier to care for than real one.
Less threat of Kenneth Starr investigation.
No trips to the doctor if you catch a computer virus.
The low cost of commitment: only $19.95 in ISP charges.
Monitor size doesn't matter.
Easier to hide a laptop if someone walks in.
You never spend a penny on deodorant, perfume, or Mentos.
Everybody assumes "[email protected]" is just an alias.
No need to say, "I have a headache" - just claim you couldn't dial into your AOL account.
Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.? Blonde: I don't know. Why? Teller: It was easier to spell. Blonde: Easier than what?
1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get' em next time" would pretty much do it.
2. Birth control would come in ale or lager.
3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day too.
5. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
6. Garbage would take itself out.
7. Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.
8. The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".
9. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
10. Tanks would be far more...
* Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
* Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
* Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
* If your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
* Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the behind and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
* Birth control would come in ale or lager.
* You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "The Lone Ranger."
* Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.
* The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
* "Sorry I'm late, but I was out getting wasted last night" would be an acceptable more...