Easter Jokes / Recent Jokes
Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley checks estimates for the flowerdecoration of the altar. The catholic florist - $ 300. "Too expensive" moans the priest. The protestant florist - $ 250, "No, it would not be right to buy atanother Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather small." But lo! Solly Goldberg - $ 75!!! Religion or economics? After much consideration, Solly obtains thecontract. On Easter Sunday morning, Goldberg's men deliver the flowers: wonderfulroses, azaleas, camellias, tulips and carnations. O'Maley's last reservations are discarded. When the parishioners arrive in the church, they see the magnificentflower arrangement and a ribbon with the inscription:"Jesus has risen! But the prices of Goldberg always stay the same."
How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket? One. After that the basket wont be empty.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful..." "Wrong!, You must go to HELL" replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." St. Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head in disgust on the Pearly Gates, tells her she's wrong and to go to HELL, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "What is Easter?" The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what more...
This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the
Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on
Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS
only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter
Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on
exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).
There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is
pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact,
it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the
postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system.
You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's
Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next
day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to more...
Once there was this guy, and he was driving in his car, and all of a sudden, he sees the Easter Bunny hopping on the road. Well, he was going too fast, and he didn't hit the brakes in time, so he hit the Easter Bunny. He was really upset, and was thinking, "Oh no, what about all those poor little kids?? What can I do!?" Then, a blonde drove up in her car, and asked, "What's wrong?" "I hit the Easter Bunny!!" said the guy. "Oh, I know what to do," said the blonde, and she went into her car, got a can, and sprayed the Easter Bunny with it. A few minutes later, the Easter Bunny got up, hopped a little bit, turned around and waved, hopped a little, turned around and waved, and it kept doing that. When the Easter Bunny was out of sight, the guy turned to the blonde and asked, "Wow, I'm dying to know what was in that can!!" "Oh," said the blonde, "It was hair spray. It says,' Spray on dead hair for permanent wave.'"
A man was blissfully driving along the highway when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place. Candy, too.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful bunny was dead.
The driver felt guilty and began to cry. A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.' 'I feel terrible,'' he explained.' 'I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?''
The woman told the man not to worry. She said she knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled more...