Easter Jokes / Recent Jokes

Whats red and blue and sogs up your Easter basket? Coloured scrambled eggs

One Easter Sunday in a large Baptist church in Birmingham, Al., the minister decided to have all the young children come forward to the front of the sanctuary in their new Easter outfits for a quick "children's sermon." He couldn't help but notice one especially pretty little blond-haired, blue-eyed girl about five or six years old. She was wearing a beautiful white frilly dress, with rows and rows of ruffles head to toe. But she had such a sad expression on her face. Trying to cheer her up, the minister called her by name, and said "you look SO lovely this morning. And I know you will wear that dress a lot because it is SO gorgeous."Sadly, she shook her head, and said, "no, preacher, I won't ever wear this dress again."Naturally, he couldn't imagine that response.... so he said, "but, honey, you look so beautiful in that dress." The little girl said, "well, thank you preacher, but I will never wear this dress again." The minister more...

Whats long and stylish and full of cats? The Easter Purrade!

Bush cancelled the Easter Egg hunt on the lawn of the White House. His people were afraid that, like Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, the Easter Eggs would turn out to be something else that Bush can`t find.

- "I thought he was the pizza delivery guy leaving. No wondered he smiled when I tried to give him a tip!"
- "I was putting another denarius in the chariot meter!"
- "With the earth shakin' and all the bright lights, we figured we was abducted by aliens!"
- "Since the tomb was already empty when the stone was rolled away, I'm afraid you're speaking to the wrong department. Let me give you a BR#245-A-Res form and direct you to Burial Services."
- "As we've already stated several times before, according to the legal definition of "escape," we emphatically deny any wrong doing in this matter!"
- "We was HYPNO-TIZED! Centurion Bobicus is still clucking like a chicken!"
- "You told us to secure the tomb as best as we know how (Mat. 27: 65). We did! May I suggest an assessment of our current training program?"
- "All I know is, this better not mess up my early retirement more...

One Easter morning, a Sunday School teacher asked her class if they knew the origins of this, special day. One young man responded immediately, "It's opening day for the Yankees and Giants."
Not wishing to stifle creative thinking, the teacher responded, "What a wonderful answer! But I had something else in mind."
A young girl then stood and remarked, "That's the day we get nice new clothes and go find the eggs from the Easter Bunny.
"That's right," said the teacher. "But there's something else just a little more important.
A young man then jumped up and yelled, "I know, I know!! After Jesus died on the cross, some of his friends buried him in a tomb they called a sepulcher."
The teacher thought, "I don't believe it, someone actually knows."
The little boy continued, "And three days later Jesus arose and opened the door of the tomb and stepped out."
"Yes, yes!" said the more...

* You only get laid once.
* You only get eaten once.
* It takes you three minutes to get hard.
* The only person who sits on your face is your mother.
* You come in a box with eleven other guys!!!
* You get tossed in the trash when they're finished with you.