Eggs Jokes / Recent Jokes
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant`s life, she will choose to save the infant`s life without even considering if there is a man on base."
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A foolish husband says to his wife,
"Honey, you stick to the washin`, ironin`, cookin`, and scrubbin`. No wife of mine is gonna work."
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We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the `seniors` special` was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1. 99.
`Sounds good,` my wife said. `But I don`t want the eggs.`
`Then I`ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you`re ordering a la carte,` the waitress warned her.
`You mean I`d have to pay for not taking the eggs?` my wife asked incredulously.
`YES!!` stated the waitress.
`I`ll take the special then.` my wife said.
`How do you want your eggs?` the waitress asked.
`Raw and in the shell,` my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home.
DON`T MESS WITH more...
One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, little Suzy raises her hand.
"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies "Don't count your eggs before they're hatched."
Last is little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam more...
Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!
An old man and women are going out for a meal to celebrate there 50th anniversary. The old man is getting ready but cant find his shoes so he looks under the bed and finds a box with 2 eggs in it and a thousand pounds so that evening he questions his wife about it at dinner." Well.." she said "each time I was unfaithful to you I put an egg in the box""And what about the thousand pound?" asked the old man." Well..." Replies the woman "Each time I got a dozen eggs I sold them"
Guy walks into a restaurant. Orders eggs.
The waitress asks, "How would you like those eggs cooked?"
The guy says, "Hey, that would be great."
WASHINGTON, DC
California decriminalized the sale of Caesar salad this week -- and it's not a moment too soon, the Libertarian Party said today.
"When you outlaw Caesar salad, only outlaws will eat Caesar salad," noted the party's Director of Communications, Bill Winter. "That's why, on the issue of Caesar salad, we Libertarians have always been pro-legalization."
Selling Caesar salad became a crime last year when California legislators passed a new health law banning the sale of food that used raw eggs as an ingredient. Unexpectedly, the law included Caesar salad, which uses uncooked eggs in its unique dressing.
Restaurant owners and fans of the popular salad were outraged. The outcry convinced state legislators to file a new bill to cancel the criminal status of Caesar salad -- and, presumably, end what might have become a flourishing black market in contraband romaine lettuce, raw eggs, and Parmesan cheese.
The bill, signed into law by more...