Eight Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged.
Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action. The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.
So as race day neared the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: Four steering managers, three area more...
From the Toronto Star:
[A] Canadian Human Rights Tribunal heard two weeks of testimony from eight mosque members alleging “Islamophobia” at [UPS's] west Toronto plant...The eight women, who lost their jobs at UPS, say Islam dictates that they wear a full-length skirt for modesty. The courier company insists that any skirt be knee-length for safety, as workers climb ladders up to 6 metres high.
Under their skirt, the women wear full-length trousers but say they do not want the lower part showing in case the shape of the calf can be discerned.
If they don’t want the shape of their calves to be discernable, I recommend Twinkies.
December 14thDearest John: I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised. With dearest love and affection, Agnes--------------------------------------December 15thDearest John: Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves.... I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable. All my love, Agnes--------------------------------------December 16thDear John: Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity. Three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist.... you're just too kind. Love Agnes---------------------------------------December 17thToday the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really! They are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic. Affectionately, Agnes----------------------------------------December 18thDearest John: What a surprise! Today more...
OPERATIONAL EXCELLENCE? Once upon a time, an American company and a Japanese company decided to have competitive boat race on the Bear River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they both felt as ready as they could be. The Japanese won by a mile! Afterwards the American Team became very discouraged by the losses and morale began to sag. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A The "Continuous Improvement Team" was established to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. THEIR CONCLUSION: The problem was that the Japanese Team had eight people rowing and one person steering, whereby the American Team had one person rowing and eight people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and millions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that too many more...
The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking:Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") ageneral lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but notlimited to, a mouse.A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixedby and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief thatSt. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus")would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. thechildren, of the aforementioned House were located in their individualbeds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, whereinvision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in saiddreams.Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred toas "I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House more...
The Indians and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile.
Afterward, the India team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action. The consultant's finding:
The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the Indian team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the Indian team.
So as race day neared again the following year, the Indian team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers and a new more...