Eight Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions.
One seventy year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."
An eighty year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."
The ninety year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I crap like a cow." "So what's your problem?" asked the others.
"I don't wake up until nine."

A sardarji asked his son,' What is nine multiplied by eight?' The boy replied,' It is 74.'
Sardarji patted the boy and took out a piece of chocolate and gave it to him.
On seeing this his neighbour said,' Nine multiplied by eight is equal to 72, and not 74 as the boy said.'
Sardarji replied,' He is improving, yesterday, he was saying it is 88.'

What Exactly Is Marriage?
“Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don’t have to give her back to her parents” -Eric, six years old
“When somebody’s been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, ‘I’ll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me. ’ Then she says yes, but she’s wondering what the thing is and whether it’s naughty or not. She can’t wait to find out. ” -Anita, nine years old
How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry?
“You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one. ” -Kelly, nine years old
“My mother says to look for a man who is kind…. That’s what I’ll do…. I’ll find somebody who’s kinda tall and handsome. ” -Carolyn, eight years old
Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married
“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a more...

If Six is afraid of Seven because Seven ate (Eight) Nine, why did Six soon die?
Because Six, Seven ate (Eight) (678)

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance.
On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action.
The consultant`s finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.
So as race day neared again the following year, the American team`s management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering more...

Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson.' If you had ten dollars,' said the teacher,' and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?''Ten,' said Little Johnny firmly.'Ten?' the teacher said' How do you make it ten?''Well,' replied Little Johnny' You may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesn't mean you'll get it!'

Dear Bank Manager,
I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account with $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience I caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to re-think my errant financial ways. You have set me on the path of fiscal righteousness.
No more will our relationship be blighted by these unpleasant incidents, for I am restructuring my affairs in the second half of 1999, taking as my model the procedures, attitudes and conduct of your very bank. I can more...