Eight Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day after work, the blonde walked into a pizza parlor and ordered a small personal pizza. When it was ready, the waiter asked if she wanted it cut into four pieces or eight.
"Better make it four," she said. "I'd never be able to eat eight."
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost
On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree.
On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree!
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Four calling birds,
three French hens,
two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree!
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Five golden rings.
Four calling birds,
three French hens,
two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Six geese a-laying,
five golden rings.
Four calling birds,
three French hens,
two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree!
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to more...
A market guru walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza.
When the pizza is done, he goes up to the counter to get it.
There a clerk asks him:
"Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces?"
The guru replies: "I'm feeling rather hungry right now. You'd better cut it into eight pieces."
Dear Bank Manager,I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in
place for eight years.You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account with $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience I caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to re-think my errant financial ways. You have set me on the path of fiscal righteousness.No more will our relationship be blighted by these unpleasant incidents, for I am restructuring my affairs in 2005, taking as my model the procedures, attitudes and conduct of your very bank. I can think of no greater more...
Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at
a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House)
a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not
limited to a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e. g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed
by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief
that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus hereinafter ("Claus)
would arrive at sometime thereafter.
The minor residents, i. e. the children, of the aforementioned House,
were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal
hallucinations, i. e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats,
including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did
dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.
Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred
to as "I), being more...