Election Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Craven
Once upon an
election so dreary
as we pondered weak and weary
Over many quaint and curious rights of Constitutional lore.
While G.W. nodded, nearly napping,
suddenly came a tapping,
As of someone loudly rapping,
rapping at the White House door.
"'Tis some visitor," he muttered, "tapping at the White House door."
Only to find it was Michael Moore.
Ah, distinctly G.W. remembered it was the bleak June,
And now his approval rate wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly he wished for the election to be over, vainly he sought to win
For his second term. But now he sorrowed for the lost glamour.
"Will you let me enter?" bade Michael. "Can we talk about the war?"
Quoth G.W.:
"Never, Moore!"
Then, Michael thought, the air grew denser, stilled by an unseen censor
Swung by G.W.'s staunch supporters whose influence one more...
Election Day is fast approaching. There should be one issue on the ballot posed to the voters, in the form of one question: “Deal or NO Deal?”
Choosing a baby's sex is about to be outlawed in Britain. Choosing to straighten the baby's teeth will remain optional.
Once upon a time, long, long ago, there was a Presidential election that was too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to win the election. Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the final win ner.
There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly) way to settle things. The candidate who catches the most fish at the end of the week wins. After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote, cold, icey lake in Wisconsin. There were to be no observers present and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification.
At the end of the first day, Kerry. returns to the headquarters and he has 10 fish. Soon, Bush, who has answers to more...
Yuo folks!
The election fever is now at its zenith but I am still not sure whether you have decided whom to vote. Hope this brief guide will help you?.
The top ten perfectly logical reasons to vote for UNP?
1. Your grand farther had voted for UNP, your father had voted for UNP and now you want to continue the family tradition.
2. It is the lesser of the two evils. (Justification: "Bheeshanaya tikak thibuna thamai, eth api meeta vada hondata kala endala hitiyane!" Though it was a bit terror regime, we were better off then.)
3. You are an automobile tire merchant and you are certain your business will prosper under a UNP regime.
4. You are an under world Goonda and you have a feeling that your skills and talents will be exploited in a more productive manner if UNP comes to power.
5. Your wife (husband) is an ardent fan of Chandrika and you know in this darned country no self-respecting man (woman) admits sharing the same political ideology more...
Barack Obama’s inauguration will come with a hefty price tag, estimated at more than $170 million.
The actual swearing in ceremony cost $1.24 million, and the federal government gave $75 million to neighboring states Virginia and Maryland to help pay for their share of police, fire and medical services.
The remainder of the money will go to the thug who put Cheney in a wheelchair.
Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses. It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence. No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. (Repealed) It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol. Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday. It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays. It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building. You may not drive a black car on Sundays. It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado. The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park. It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex. It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman more...