Elephants Jokes / Recent Jokes
Were going to play elephants and circuses, said a little boy at kindergarten, Do you want to join in? Id love to, replied the teacher. What do you want me to do? You can be the lady that feeds us peanuts!
The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants.
The British submited a dry historical account "The Elephant and the British Empire."
The French submited a text "The Sensuality of the Elephant - a Personal Account."
The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled "An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of the Elephant's Ear."
The Americans submited an article from "Money" magazine: "Elephants - the Perfect Tax Shelter for the 80s"
Green-Peace submited a counter-entry "Elephants - they're better than People"
The Russians submited a terse manuscript titled "The superiority of the Soviet Elephant"
And submited a poem "The Joy and Freedom Brought forth by the Soviet Elephant."
But the Japanese won with their Promotional Flier "We have no Elephants but wouldn't you want to buy a Honda instead"
The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best bookon elephants.The British submited a dry historical account "The Elephant and the British Empire."The French submited a text "The Sensuality of the Elephant - a Personal Account."The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled "An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of the Elephant's Ear."The Americans submited an article from "Money" magazine: "Elephants - the Perfect Tax Shelter for the 80s"Green-Peace submited a counter-entry "Elephants - they're better than People"The Russians submited a terse manuscript titled "The superiority of the Soviet Elephant"And submited a poem "The Joy and Freedom Brought forth by the Soviet Elephant."But the Japanese won with their Promotional Flier "We have no Elephants but wouldn't you want to buy a Honda instead"
Tarzan was tired when he came home. "What have you been doing", asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really? ", said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground! "
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants. Bathhouses are against the law. In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs. No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. Women may not drive in a house coat. It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways. You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit. Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash." You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows. It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds. Ice more...
Hello, this is your local zoo. Do you like animals? We are experiencing severe problems with hot water. Would you be so kind as to allow us to bring our elephants over to your bathroom for a shower? (The most common response: "Well, sure, but my neighbor's bathroom is bigger and better equipped to handle elephants.")
Today I saw a baby who had put on five stone in weight in two weeks by drinking elephants milk. Whose baby was it? The elephants!