Embarrassing Jokes / Recent Jokes
In her memoirs, Barbara Bush described one of those most embarrassing moments that inevitably occur, even on the most carefully advanced of foreign trips. Along with her husband, then the Vice President, Mrs. Bush was lunching with Emperor Hirohito at Tokyo's Imperial Palace.
Sitting next to the Emperor, Mrs. Bush found the conversation an uphill task. To all her efforts at verbal engagement, the Emperor would smile and say "Yes" or "No," with an occasional "Thank You" tossed in for good measure.
Looking around her elegant surroundings, she complimented Hirohito on his official residence.
"Thank you," he said.
"Is it new?" pressed Mrs. Bush.
"Yes."
"Was the old palace just so old that it was falling down?" asked Mrs. Bush.
In his most charming, yet regal, matter, Hirohito replied, "No, I'm afraid that you bombed more...
A shy fellow goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour he finally gets enough courage and goes over and ask her if she would like to chat for a while. She responded by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight! ” Everyone in the bar stared at them. The fellow was hopelessly and completely embarrassed, slinking back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walked over to him and apologized. She said “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studding how people react to embarrassing situations. ” To this the fellow responded at the top of his lungs “What do you mean £500. 00, you must be out of your mind!!!!! ”
Usually everyone who has a dog would call the dog Rover or something. I call mine "Sex". Sex is a very embarrassing name, but I never knew HOW embarrassing until one day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for him. A police officer came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I was looking for Sex." My court case comes up next Thursday. One day I went to City Hall to get a license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted, I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said "I would like to have one too!" When I said "But this is a dog," he said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was two years old." He replied, "You must have been a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said, more...
Embarrassing moments The following are the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in New Woman Magazine. 1)"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving *right now*, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,' If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' "The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter" * Amy Richardson; Stafford, Virginia 2)"It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was more...
The following are the top two winners of an Embarrassing Moments Contest in New Woman Magazine.
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving *right now*, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,' If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'. The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter"
-Amy Richardson; Stafford, Virginia
"It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at more...
Jeeto came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem: "I fart all the time Doctor but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"
"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Santa. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."
The next week, an upset Jeeto marched into Doctor's office: "Doc, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself ?"
"Calm down, Mrs. Santa," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."