Embarrassing Jokes / Recent Jokes

The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!'

Usually everyone who has a dog would call the dog Rover or something. I call mine "Sex". Sex is a very embarrassing name, but I never knew HOW embarrassing until one day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for him. A police officer came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I was looking for Sex."My court case comes up next Thursday.One day I went to City Hall to get a license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted, I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said "I would like to have one too!" When I said "But this is a dog," he said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was two years old."He replied, "You must have been a strong boy."When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said, "But more...

Embarrassing moments The following are the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in New Woman Magazine. 1)"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving *right now*, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' "The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter" * Amy Richardson; Stafford, Virginia 2)"It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was more...

Remember how embarrassing it was when you were a little kid and you get separated from your mom in the store and you end up grabbing some strange lady’s leg by mistake, thinking it was her? Well, it’s even more embarrassing when you’re thirty.

A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone.
After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her,
"Er... excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?"
She responds in a loud voice:
"NO, I DON`T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them.
The young man is surprised, shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.
After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes, and says,

"You see, I`m a graduate student in psychology and I`m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
The young man responds loudly with,
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIVE THOUSAND RUPEES. FOR ONE NIGHT? ! THATS TOO MUCH! "

We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake. This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter, snowing and quite cold; and the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the more...

Two dwarfs were on a golf vacation, and after playing 36 holes on the first day, they hit the local bar.
After a few drinks, they decided to pick up two prostitutes and take them back to their hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, was unable to get an erection. His depression was made worse by the fact that from the next room he heard cries of "One, two, three... uhh!" all night long.
On the first tee the next morning, the second dwarf asked the first, "How did it go?"
The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I couldn't get an erection."
The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" he cried. "I couldn't even get on the damn bed!"