Engagement Jokes / Recent Jokes

Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened.' I thought it was love at first sight,' said Julie.' It was, but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind.

Different Phases of a man: Before engagement: Youngman After engagement: Superman After marriage: Gentleman After 10 years of marriage: Watchman After 20 years of marriage: Doberman

The engagement.
Ruth and Golda were walking along Hendon High Street.
Ruth says, "My son Irving is getting married. He tells me he is engaged to a wonderful girl, but... he thinks she may have a disease called herpes.
Golda says, "Do you have any idea what this herpes is, and can he catch it?"
Ruth replies, "No, but I am just so thrilled to hear about Irving`s engagement - it`s time he settled down. As far as the herpes goes...who knows?"
"Well," says Golda, "I have a very good medical dictionary at home. I`ll look it up and call you."
So Golda goes home, looks it up, and calls Ruth. "Ruth, I found it. Not to worry. It says herpes is a disease of the gentiles."

"I hear Maggie and yourself settled your difficulties and decided to get married after all," Jock said to Sandy.
"That's right," said Sandy, "Maggie's put on so much weight that we couldn't get the engagement ring off her finger."

Larry finally found the nerve to tell his fiancee that he had to break off their engagement so he could marry another woman.
"Can she cook like I can?" the distraught woman asked between sobs.
"Not on her best day," he replied.
"Can she buy you expensive gifts like I do?"
"No, she's broke."
"Well, then, is it sex?"
"Nobody does it like you, babe."
"Then what can she do that I can't?"
"...Sue me for child support."

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering..

Gal announced her engagement 2 her Dad.
Dad: Does dis fellow hav money?
Gal: O! Dad, U men r all alike, tats exactly wat he asked me abt U!