Ensemble Jokes

Accent: An unusual manner of pronunciation, e. g. "Y`all sang that real good!"

Accidentals: Wrong notes

Ad Libitum: A premiere.

Agitato: A string player`s state of mind when a peg slips in the middle of a piece.

Agnus dei: A famous female church composer.

Allegro: Leg fertilizer.

Altered Chord: A sonority that has been spayed.

Atonality: Disease that many modern composers suffer from. The most prominent symptom is the patient`s lacking ability to make decisions.

Augmented fifth: A 36-ounce bottle.

Bar Line: A gathering of people, usually among which may be found a musician or two.

Beat: What music students to do each other with their musical instruments. The down beat is performed on the top of the head, while the up beat is struck under the chin.

Bravo: Literally, "How bold!" or "What nerve!" This is a spontaneous expression of more...

ACCIDENTALS: Wrong notes
AUGMENTED FIFTH: A 36-ounce bottle
BROKEN CONSORT: When somebody in the ensemble has to leave and go to the
restroom.
CADENCE: When everybody hopes you`re going to stop - but you don`t
CADENZA: The heroine in Monteverdi`s opera "Frottola"
CANTUS FIRMUS: The part you get when you can only play four notes
CHANSONS DE GESTE: Dirty songs
CLAUSULA: Mrs. Santa
CROTCHET: A tritone with a bent prong - or
CROTCHET: It`s like knitting but it`s faster
CUT TIME: When you`re going twice as fast as everybody else in the
ensemble.
DUCTIA: A lot of mallards
EMBOUCHRE: The way you look when you`ve been playing the Krummhorn
GARGLEFINKLEIN: A tiny recorder played by gnomes.
HOCKET: The thing that fits into a crochet to produce a rackett
INTERVAL: How long it takes you to find the right note. There are three
kinds:

ACCIDENTALS: Wrong notes (played on purpose...?).
AUGMENTED FIFTH: A 36-ounce bottle
BROKEN CONSORT: When somebody in the ensemble has to leave and go to the restroom.
CADENCE: When everybody hopes you're going to stop - but you don't
CADENZA: The heroine in Monteverdi's opera "Frottola"
CANTUS FIRMUS: The part you get when you can only play four notes
CHANSONS DE GESTE: Dirty songs
CLAUSULA: Mrs. Santa
CROTCHET: A tritone with a bent prong or...
CROTCHET: It's like knitting but it's faster
CUT TIME: When you're going twice as fast as everybody else in the ensemble.
DUCTIA: A lot of mallards
EMBOUCHRE: The way you look when you've been playing the Krummhorn
ESTAMPIE: What they put on letters in Quebec
GARGLEFINKLEIN: A tiny recorder played by neums
HOCKET: The thing that fits into a crochet to produce a rackett
INTERVAL: How long it takes you to find the right note. There are three kinds:
Major Interval: A more...