Episode Jokes / Recent Jokes

Top 10 Ways To Shut Up A Non-Trek Girlfriend Without Killing Her10. Tell her "Your ears canna stan the strain!" 9. Vulcan Neck Pinch. 8. Have an Android made of her then when she starts speaking tell her to "Shut Up!" (See, "I, Mudd" - TOS episode). 7. Wave Phaser in her face and tell her you will stun her with it. 6. Use transporter to split her into two separate personalities. Phaser Evil Girlfriend and keep Good Girlfriend. (See, "The Enemy Within" - TOS episode). 5. Tell her your watching the episode where Picard gets naked. 4. Ask if she wants to see the Picard Maneuver. 3. Try, "Computer - End Program." 2. Tell her she's in violation of the Prime Directive and she is interfering with a lesser developed civilization. 1. Borg her.

"Men, Women, and Dogs" (New Show)
All we had at time of press is that this series will star former MTV VJ Bill Bellamy. It is unclear whether he will portray a man, woman or dog.
"Smallville" (New Show)
Tom Welling was cast as Clark Kent based on the strength of his performance in CBS's "Judging Amy." The fact that Tom possesses the powers of flight, heat vision and freeze breath had nothing to do with it.
"The Young Plastic Man Chronicles" (New Show)
The stretchy comic-book hero gets his own prequel show following "Smallville." Young Plas grapples with the trials of adolescence and having a penis that stretches to infinite lengths.
"Off Centre" (New Show)
This humourous comedy deals with the lives of colourful British football centres with day jobs: one drives a lorry, the other operates a lift. In the pilot episode they go on holiday but end up in hospital.
"Elimidate Deluxe" (New more...