Episode Jokes / Recent Jokes
IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER - -
Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great,
But... there are problems that can't wait!
Now Benton's fine, and Carter too,
But Ross and Susan just won't do!
Now who do you think that we should hire,
Since both of them today I'll fire?
Mark: Kerry, maybe we should wait and see...
Kerry: That's great Mark! I knew you would agree...
Jerry: Dr. Weaver? Sorry to interrupt...
But the paramedics just pulled up.
Mark: Ok, I'm here. What have you got?
Shep: This little boy has just been shot!
His pulse is faint, his breath is weak.
We did all we could to stop the leak.
Riley: And this woman here, she has a broken hip...
Carol: How did she fall? How did she trip?
Shep: The kid's mom was getting in my hair,
So I shoved her-lightly-down some stairs.
Mark: Benton, Kerry! Take the mom to three!
Doug and Susan! Come with me!
Riley: But wait, but wait! Oh don't you see?
We've more...
The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has
encountered several times before.
The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists, who
are all perfectly all right.
The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of-Eden-like planet called Paradise,
where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon revealed
to be exactly as it seems.
The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later
turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform, wearing a silly hat.
The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a strange alien plague, for
which the cure is found in the well-stocked sick-bay.
An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to
the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to
bring the right leads.
A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a
faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent more...
Although the show is retired, we'd still like to kill that little alien in the mess hall... Here are some ways the writers could have done it.
1. After slugging down six Shirley Temple's in the Messhall, Neelix stumbles to the holodeck, which he commands to "take me to hell." His broken body is later found on the empty holodeck in a pool of vomit.
2. Neelix gets gang-banged by a group of female Kazons.
3. Chakotay gets carried away executing an order from Janeway to "knock the annoying snot around a bit."
4. Tuvok catches him jacking off. Uncomprehending, he requires a detailed explanation from Neelix, who dies of embarrassment.
5. Extensive lab analysis of a green slime found on one of the control panels uncovers the fact that our favorite cook has, once again, been picking his nose. He is summarily fired and commits suicide.
6. Neelix gets gang-banged by a group of male Kazons.
7. On an more...
Prominent blacks have condemned as racist an episode of "Where My Dogs At?", an animated show on MTV2. The episode depicts Snoop Doggy Dogg walking into a pet store leading two black women on leashes. One of them then defecates on the floor. I don't get it. How is that racist? Were there watermelon seeds in it?
According to a TV Guide poll, Charlie Sheen is the highest paid actor on prime time televison--earning $825,000 per episode. This means LA call girls are now the highest paid prostitutes in the counrtry--earning over $1,000 per "episode."