Eve Jokes / Recent Jokes

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.
8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.
7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.
6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put he garbage on the curb.
5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!
And finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve. .
1. When God more...

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to God's kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was:"Don't." "Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said." Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve... we got Forbidden Fruit!" "No way!" "Yes, WAY!""Don't eat that fruit!" said God. "Why?" "Because I'm your Father and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants. A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry." Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the First Parent asked. "Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you?" "I dunno," Eve answered. "She started it!" Adam said. "Did not!" "DID so!" "DID more...

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life was, of course “perfect. ”

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a SUV) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor?

The perfect woman survived. She’s the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect more...

It's New Year's Eve. Kelly walks into a bar and orders beer and a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him a beer and a shot of whiskey. Kelly drinks his beer and pours the shot of whiskey into his shirt pocket. Kelly orders another beer and another shot of whiskey. Kelly drinks the beer and pours the shot of whiskey into his pocket.

The bartender says, "Look, Mac, it's New Year's Eve, and I know we're both depressed, and I certainly don't mean to bug you, but my curiosity is killing me. Why do you keep pouring the shots in your pocket?" Kelly says, "It's none of your freaking business! And if you be givin' me a hard time, I'll be breaking your bloody face!"

At this time, a little mouse pops out of Kelly's shirt pocket and says, "And that goes for your cat, too!"

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God." Lord, I have a problem!""What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above." Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples." "Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a man, Lord?" "Man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But... he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, more...

>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> In the Garden of Eden,
>>>>>>>>>>> As everyone knows,
>>>>>>>>>>> Lives Adam and Eve,
>>>>>>>>>>> Without any clothes.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> In this garden,
>>>>>>>>>>> Were two little leaves,
>>>>>>>>>>> One covered Adam's,
>>>>>>>>>>> One covered Eve's.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> As the story goes on,
>>>>>>>>>>> Never the less to say,
>>>>>>>>>>> The wind came along,
>>>>>>>>>>> And blew the leaves away.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> At the sight,
>>>>>>>>>>> Adam did stare,
>>>>>>>>>>> There was Eve's treasure,
>>>>>>>>>>> All covered with hair.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> And wonder came,
>>>>>>>>>>> Under Eve's eyes,
>>>>>>>>>>> As Adam's thing,
>>>>>>>>>>> Started to rise.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> They found a spot,
>>>>>>>>>>> That suited them best,
>>>>>>>>>>> A nice big tree,
>>>>>>>>>>> Where they began to more...

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a' man,' Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will provide you with companionship and satisfy
your desires. Yet, he'll be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need more...