Excitement Jokes

In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is permitted to purchase and wear his first kilt.
A couple of weeks before his important birthday, a young lad went to a tailor shop and found the material he wanted for his first kilt. He took the material to the tailor and said, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here and, if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings!"
So, the tailor took the material and promised to call the young lad when the order was completed.
A few days later, the tailor called the lad back to the shop. "Here's ye kilt, and here's ye matching underwear, and here's five yards of the material left over. Ye might want to take it home and keep it in case ye want anything else made of it."
So, the lad rushed home with his order, threw the material in his room, and donned his kilt. In his excitement, more...

The young kindergarten teacher had just instructed her charges to come forward as their names were called and be prepared to draw something on the blackboard that had been the cause of excitement in their homes during the previous week. One by one the pupils came forward and sketched such items as report cards, television sets, mothers' new hats, and the like. When it came time for Johnny, the class cutup, to comply with the assignment, however, he walked to the board and simply made two white dots before returning to his seat. Suspecting that he was up to one of his usual pranks, the teacher advised Johnny that he had better be able to explain why those two dots were exciting if he didn't want to be kept after school.
"Well," said Johnny, "the other day you told us that those dots are also called periods-"
"That's correct," the teacher interrupted. "But what could possibly be exciting about two periods?"
"Beats me," more...

I Don't Think He'll Win Any Popularity Contests...
... On Monday morning it was determined to arrest "the Greaser," Joe Pizzanthia, and to see precisely how his record stood in the Territory... A party started for his cabin, which was built on a side-hill. The interior looked darker than usual from the bright glare of the surrounding snow. The smmons to come forth being disregarded, Smith Ball and George Copley entered, contrary to the advice of their comrades, and instantly recieved the fire of their concealed foe. Copley was shot through the breast. Smith Ball recieved a bullet in the hip. They both staggered out, each ejaculating, "I'm shot." Copley was led off by two friends, and died of his wound. Smith Ball recovered himself, and was able to empty his six shooter into the body of the assassin, when the latter was dragged forth.
The popular excitement rose nearly to madness. Copley was a much-esteemed citizen, and Smith Ball had many friends. It was more...

Fear is just excitement in need of an attitude adjustment

You get on with your partner.
There is anxious anticipation as you start.
You start slowly, climbing your way to the top.
There are smiles exchanged, and giggles, maybe even hand holding.
The excitement builds and builds.
It nears the top.
The expressions on the faces become wonderous and excited.
Then as it hits the pinacle, things move very fast.
There/'s a quick motion, the heart races with complete excitement, faces are all in total pleasure.
Arms are flailing, heads are bouncing, and there is some noticeable screeming going on.
The rest of the ride is up and down., twisting and turning, lots of bumping, sometimes in the light, sometimes in the dark. Sometimes there is a surprise and sometimes it becomes all too familiar but always, always at the end, there is a big smile on the face. Hair is all messed up, and everyone is talking about how great it is, while some of them will say,? " I wanna go again"