Fakes Jokes

My wife not only fakes orgasms, she fakes cooking & housekeeping too.

The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret those hidden signs:

1. Women won't unlock car door for men - Doesn't engage in oral sex

2. Man gets in car without opening door for woman - no foreplay

3. Can't hail a cab - impotent

4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant - prefers virgins

5. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way - is a virgin

6. Insists on going to a romantic, candlelit restaurant - Compulsive Don Juan

7. Insists in going to a homey little cafe with windmill motif - Compulsive Don Quixote

8. Insists on going to a Polynesian bar - Compulsive Don Ho

9. Wants to go to a French Restaurant - will swallow

10. Wants to go to a deli -won't swallow

11. Uses Sweet n' Low - wearing falsies

12. Takes too long deciding what to order - has trouble reaching orgasm

13. Orders salad dressing on the more...