Fart Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" The Huge Man: "You must be new here; it is a rule that more...
First Lady Hillary Clinton and Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks. Hillary says to Janet, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he last had his pecker."
Janet responded. "Just because I am aesthetically challenged [that's "politically correct" for ugly) doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances."
Hillary asks, "Well, how do you deal with the problem?"
Janet said, "Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest, nastiest fart I can."
Well, that night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary headed to bed. She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting some action. She had been saving her farts all day, and was ready for him. She tensed more...
1. A VAIN PERSON
One who loves the smell of his own fart.
2. AN AMIABLE PERSON
One who loves the smell of other people's farts.
3. A PROUD PERSON
One who thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant.
4. A SHY PERSON
One who releases silent farts then blushes.
5. AN IMPUDENT PERSON
One who farts loud then laughs.
6. A SCIENTIFIC PERSON
One who farts regularly, but is concerned with pollution.
7. AN UNFORTUNATE PERSON
One who tries to fart but shits instead.
8. A NERVOUS PERSON
One who stops in the middle of a fart.
9. AN HONEST PERSON
One who admits he farted but offers a good medical reason.
10. A DISHONEST PERSON
One who farts and blames his dog.
11. A FOOLISH PERSON
One who suppresses a fart for hours.
12. A THRIFTY PERSON
One who always has farts in reserve.
13. AN ANTI-SOCIAL PERSON
One who excuses himself and farts in private.
14. STRATEGIC more...
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parent's house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the fart. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Bailey!"
The woman thought, "This is great!", and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.
The father again looked at the dog and more...
Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?"
Bob replies "No, what do you mean?"
She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me."
Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few moments a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says: "Sir, did you call for me?"
Bob replies "No, what do you more...
Confucius say...Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.Man who fart in church sit in own pew.Baseball very funny game-man with 4 balls no can walk! Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town.Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk.A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have! Man who run behind car get exhausted.Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger.Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.Man with atletic finger make broad jump.Squirrel who runs up more...