Feeling Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion! Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows,"Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars,"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant -"Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"

Friday afternoon, the rush hour bus is jam-packed with commuters.

Everyone was feeling like sardines in a can. People stood face-to-face, back-to-back.

A young woman was wearing a miniskirt was feeling particularly uncomfortable with her situation.

As if feeling discomfort, a construction worker behind her said, "Pardon me, miss, but that thing pressing into your back is my weekly pay. .. today they only paid us hard cash!"

"I don't mind your hard cash," replied the woman, "but how do you explain your pay increase since the last stop?"

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident,' I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the..." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident,' I'm fine'?". Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to more...

Santa singh and banta singh are the best of friends.santa is a bachelor while banta is married to a sexy woman.she has a voracious appetite for sex and banta cannot live upto her expectations.he simply gets tired.so soon banta's wife gets attracted to santa who is a strong, energetic, handsome sardar.soon they are in love.one day they decide to go to the next level...
Banta has a 5 yr. Old son.one fine morning banta's wife wakes him up at 5 in the morning and gives him a cold bath in the middle of the winter season.the poor child gets a slight fever by midday.grabbing this chance, banta's wife asks banta to take the child to the hospital.as soon as banta has left she calls over santa for some fun.
By half an hour they are both making wild love when suddenly they hear banta's car horn.scared santa hides behind the curtains.enter banta.he sees his wife lying on the bed.he asks her why she is sleeping when she says that she is feeling cold. He checks her temp...on the forehead more...

Mr. Horntoot admitted to his wife that he was feeling muchbetter since his operation, but couldn't account for theenormous bump on the back of his head." Oh, that," chuckled Mrs. Horntoot. "Just before youroperation they suddenly ran out of ether!"

Time Sheets To all staff: It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time". In this company unproductive time isn't a problem. What is a problem,however, is not knowing exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time. Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.
Thank you.
The Management

Attached: Extended Job Code List Code number Explanation ---------- ----------- 5316 Meeting 5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting 5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting 5319 Waiting for Break 5320 Waiting for Lunch 5321 Waiting for End of Day 5322 more...