Fictional Jokes / Recent Jokes

How can you tell soap operas are fictional? - In real life, men aren't affectionate in bed.

Fantasy Fist Fight- noun. 1. a fictional battle waged between two or more entities. these entities may be people (living, dead, or fictional), animals, deities, forces of nature, etc. 2. a game often played by adolescent males who are in dire need of female companionship.


Today's Fights:


1. Hugh Hefner Vs. Thousands of Bees (Hefner gets a pesticide gun):
One's every man's dream: rich, cool, and surrounded by beautiful women. The other's a swarm of deadly insects aiming to take him down. Has the founder of Playboy magazine finally met his match? To make things a little more even, we'll give Hef a gun that shoots a pesticide blend. It should take out about 50 bees per shot. But all the viagra and silicone in the world won't stop a tremendous swarm of killer bees (i think...). Fight ends with the bees delivering enough stings to Hefner's body that he is killed almost instantly. In his honor, his family begins the "Hugh Hefner Society to Test Bee more...

A WOMEN'S PERSPECTIVE
Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have more...

A little game to play while you're bored at work and reading jokes... Say each of the items out loud and try to figure out what it's supposed to be.


1. SHOCK CUSSED TOE (~a person~)
2. SAND TACKLE LAWS (~a fictional character~)
3. MY GULCH HOARD UN (~a person~)
4. MOW BEAD HICK (~a book~)
5. TALL MISCHIEF HER SUN (~a person~)
6. CHICK HE TUB AN AN US (~a product~)
7. THOUGH TIGHT AN HICK (~a thing~)
8. AISLE OH VIEW (~a phrase~)
9. TUB RAID HEAP HUNCH (~a old TV show~)
10. CARESS TROUGHER CLUMP US (~a person~)
11. DOCKED HEARSE WHOSE (~a person~)
12. THUMB ILL KEY WAKE OWL LICKS HE (~a place~)
13. AGE ANT HUB BLOWS HEAVEN (~a fictional character~)
14. THESE HOUND DOVE MOO SICK (~a movie~)
15. BUCK SPUN HE (~a fictional character~)





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Answers:

1. Jacques Cousteau

2. Santa Claus

3. Michael more...