Firm Jokes / Recent Jokes
Firm Grasp of the Obvious Department
From the Notebook pages of The New Republic 1995
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
- Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995
Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us
- Holland Sentinal, date unknown.
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut
- The New York Times, November 22
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find
- The Los Angeles Times, November 2
'Light' meals are lower in fat, calories
- Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30
Alcohol ads promote drinking
- The Hartford Courant, November 18
Malls try to attract shoppers
- The Baltimore Sun, October 22
Official: Only rain will cure drought
- The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men
- The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
- Newsday, July 11
Man shoots neighbor with machete
- The Miami Herald, July more...
A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery.
After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.
Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: "Justice prevailed.
A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.
Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste, "Appeal immediately."
A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: ? Justice prevailed.? The senior partner replied in haste, ? Appeal immediately.?
A guy phones a law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer. ” The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week. ” The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer. ” Once again the receptionist replies, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week. ”
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, “I want to speak to my lawyer. ” “Excuse me sir, ” the receptionist says, “but this is third time I’ve had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling? ” The guy replies, “Because I love hearing it! ”
OPERATIONAL EXCELLENCE? Once upon a time, an American company and a Japanese company decided to have competitive boat race on the Bear River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they both felt as ready as they could be.The Japanese won by a mile! Afterwards the American Team became very discouraged by the losses and morale began to sag. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A The "Continuous Improvement Team" was established to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.THEIR CONCLUSION: The problem was that the Japanese Team had eight people rowing and one person steering, whereby the American Team had one person rowing and eight people steering.The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and millions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that too many more...
A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's senior partner had passed away unexpectedly."Is Mr. Smith there?", asked the client on the phone."I'm very sorry, but Mr. Smith passed away last night," the receptionist answered."Is Mr. Smith there?", repeated the client.The receptionist was perplexed. "Perhaps you didn't understand me I'm afraid Mr. Smith passed away last night.""Is Mr. Smith there?", asked the client again."Ma'am, do you understand what I'm saying?", said the exasperated receptionist. "Mr. Smith is DEAD!""I understand you perfectly," the client sighed. "I just can't hear it often enough."