Firm Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two very bright law school graduates were competing for a job at a top law firm. As part of the interview, the interviewer asked each why she wanted the job.
The first answered that she wanted to work for a firm with a reputation of being concerned with truth and justice. When it was her turn, the second interviewee opened her purse, took out a rather thin wallet and laid it on the senior partner’s desk. "I want to fatten it up as quickly as possible," she said, to which the partner responded, "You're hired."
International Travellers Bloopers1. On a French passenger jet: Live West Under Your Seat. 2. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. 3. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. 4. In an Athens hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a. m. daily. 5. In a Yugoslav hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. 6. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. 7. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel, across from a Russian monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday. 8. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension (???). 9. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today: no ice cream. 10. On the menu of a more...
A man can't find a lawyer, so he grabs the yellow pages and picks out a law firm: Jones, Jones, Jones & Jones.
He calls up and asks, "Is Mr. Jones in?"
The person answering the phone responds, "No, he's out playing golf."
The caller requests, "All right, then let me speak to Mr. Jones."
"He's not with the firm any more, he's retired."
"Then let me talk to Mr. Jones."
"He's away in Boston, won't be back for a month."
"Okay, then let me talk to Mr. Jones."
"Speaking!"
Two guys are shopping in a supermarket when their carts collide. One says to the other, “I’m sorry, I was looking for my wife. ”“What a coincidence. So am I, and I’m getting a little desperate, ” says the other man. “Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like? ”“She’s tall, with long hair, long legs, firm boobs, “She’s tall, with long hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight ass. What does your wife look like? ”“Oh, never mind. Let’s look for yours! ”
A woman comes out of the shower one morning. Her husband sneaks up behind her, grabs a hold of her breasts, and says 'honey, if you firm these up a little bit you wouldn't have to wear a bra quite as much.'
She was furious and didn't speak to him for the rest of the week.
The next week, as she comes out of the shower, he sneaks up behind her again, grabs a hold of her buttocks, and says 'honey, if you firm these up a little bit, you wouldn't have to wear a girdle quite as much.
Well she was furious.
Next morning, he comes out of the shower, and she sneaks up behind him, grasp a hold of his penis, and says 'you know honey, if you firm this up a little bit, I wouldn't have to see your brother quite as much!!!"
The managing partner in an accounting firm is very annoyed with one of his junior partners and has called him in to chastise him."How could you possibly advise the client in the way you did? That was completely unethical. We are always conscious of Ethics in this firm. You do know what Ethics is dont you?"The young partner is offended. "Of course I know what Ethics is. Its a county in southern England."
The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both Teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile.
The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.
The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.
So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's Management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, more...