Flag Jokes / Recent Jokes

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."

"That`s the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."

The geology poem
Ode to Olivine in Thin Section, a poem by Brenna Lorenz
In basalt a lurid green
Bespeaks the savage olivine;
Mantle's child, born of fire,
Restless in the open air,
Little beads of anger bear
The torture of desire.
Silica upon its face
It suffers, helpless, in disgrace,
Its powers of reaction bound
By solid's bond and cage,
In agony confined to rage
Unstable and unsound.
Its birefringent power plays
The sifted light to rare displays;
The haunting, primal colors tell
Of fire and fury's flag unfurled,
Flag of fluid, nether world,
Beneath the fragile shell.

The geology poem
Ode to Olivine in Thin Section, a poem by Brenna Lorenz

In basalt a lurid green
Bespeaks the savage olivine;
Mantle's child, born of fire,
Restless in the open air,
Little beads of anger bear
The torture of desire.

Silica upon its face
It suffers, helpless, in disgrace,
Its powers of reaction bound
By solid's bond and cage,
In agony confined to rage
Unstable and unsound.

Its birefringent power plays
The sifted light to rare displays;
The haunting, primal colors tell
Of fire and fury's flag unfurled,
Flag of fluid, nether world,
Beneath the fragile shell.

A Canadian couple was strolling through a park in London and sat down on a bench next to an elderly Briton. The Brit noticed their lapel pins sporting the Canadian flag and, to make conversation, said "Judging by your pins, you must be Canadians"."Indeed we are", replied the Canadian gentleman."I hope you won't mind my asking," said the Brit, "but what do the two red bars on your flag represent?""Well," replied the Canadian gentlman, "one of the bars stands for the courage and hardiness of our people in settling the cold expanses and broad prairies of our country. The other is for the honesty and integrity for which Canadians are known."

The Brit mulled this over and nodded. Having poor eyesight at his advanced age, and not being familiar with maple leaves, he then asked, "And what's that six-pointed item in the middle of your flag?"

"Oh, that's to remind us of the six words of our more...

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and
"lollipop" with your right. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Maine is the only state in the U.S. whose name is just one syllable. (I'll
bet you're going to check this out.)
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or
purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". (Are you
doubting this?)
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never
stop growing.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every
letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for
accuracy, right?)
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read
left to right or right to left
(palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going more...

Several businesses in England have banned the British flag for fear of violent Muslim reactions, after an extremist group leveled warnings that the flag's red cross reminds Muslims of the Crusades. This is slightly more insane than my refusal to use the microwave because ovens remind me of the Holocaust.
Meanwhile, the Baltimore County Muslim Council is demanding that public schools remove Jewish holidays from the school calendar unless they're ready to give days off for Muslim holy days as well. It's a predictable development, of course. Soon enough, Holocaust education at schools will change too, taking into account Muslim sensitivities. After all, Hitler may seem like a villain to little Shlomo, but little Qudsia may see things differently.

Bobby Knight, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded IU flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Bobby," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Bobby felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three-story mansion with a black and gold sidewalk, 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Purdue flag and, in every window, a Boilermaker logo. Bobby looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a good coach, I won 3 NCAA titles, 600+ games and I even went to the hall of fame. So why does Gene Keady get a better house than me?" God chuckled, and said "Bobby, that's not Gene Keady's house, it's mine!"