Fleas Jokes

These two fleas are sitting in Florida. One is shivering like crazy, saying "that has got to be the coldest ride I have ever had in my life!"
"How did you get here?" asks the other flea.
"I was in the moustache of some guy riding his motorcycle down the freeway."
"That is no way to travel to Florida" says the flea."Here is what you do. Go to the airport and find a lounge. Have a sip of someone's drink so you are relaxed. Find a really pretty girl and crawl up her leg and under her dress.G o inside her panties and you will find a nice warm place to curl up and fall asleep. The next thing you know, you are in Florida! Remember that for next time.We will get together next year and you can tell me how it went!"
The following year, the two fleas are back in Florida and the first
one is shivering like crazy. "That is the coldest f*%#in' ride to
Florida I have had in my life!!!"
"What happened to the more...

A professor places a flea on the tabke and orders it to jump.It does. He then cuts of its legs and repeats the command. The flea remains stationary.The professor then proclaims to his students... i have now proved that by cutting off a fleas legs the creature is rendered completely deaf!

Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet? "Why are we running so fast? " said oneBecause it says "Tear along the dotted line"

A priest was walking along the corridor of the parochial school near the preschool wing when a group of little ones were trotting by on the way to the cafeteria. One little lad of about three or four stopped and looked at him in his clerical clothes and asked, "Why do you dress funny?"
He told him he was a priest and this is the uniform priests wear. Then the boy pointed to the priest's plastic collar tab and asked, "Do you have an owie?"
The priest was perplexed till he realized that to him the collar tab looked like a band aid. So the priest took it out and handed it to the boy to show him.
On the back of the tab are raised letters giving the name of the manufacturer. The little guy felt the letters, and the priest asked, "Do you know what those words say?"
"Yes I do," said the lad, though he was not yet old enough to read. Peering intently at the letters he said, "Kills ticks and fleas for up to six months!"

Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet? "Why are we running so fast? " said one Because it says "Tear along the dotted line"