Florist Jokes / Recent Jokes

Santa thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife`s birthday and, also, their anniversary.
He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to Jeetoo on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband."
Jeeto was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, some bouquets later, when Santa came home, kissed her and said offhandedly, "Nice flowers, where`d you get them?"

A new business was opening and one of the owners friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace". The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, Im really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new location."

There was once a monastery and the friars there wanted a new bell for the bell tower. To raise enough money for the bell, the friars decided to start a florist shop. Well, word got out that some friars were opening a flower shop, and everyone wanted the friar's flowers! So they got great business and lots of money! Well, the other florists in that area weren't very happy because they were losing business. They sent a warning to the friars telling the friars that if they didn't stop selling flowers that they would send someone over to rough' em up! The friars ignored the warning. The next day however, the angry florists got together and hired a thug named Hugh. Hugh was big and strong! Hugh went to the friar's flower shop and beat the friars up and tore up their shop! So the moral to this story is: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars!

There was this good samaritan barber in a city in the US. One day a florist went to him for a haircut. After the haircut when he wanted to pay, the barber replied,' Thank you, but I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The florist was pleasantly surprised and went back happy. The next morning when the barber opened the shop, there was a thank you card with a dozen roses waiting at his door.
Next day, a cop went for a haircut and he also got the same reply from the barber,' I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The cop was happy and left the shop. When the barber reached his shop the next morning, there was a thank you note and a dozen cookies waiting for him.
An Indian software engineer went for a haircut and when he wanted to pay the barber, he too got the same reply,' I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The next morning when the barber went to open his more...

On opening his new store, a man received a bouquet of flowers. He became dismayed on reading the enclosed card, that it expressed "Deepest Sympathy". While puzzling over the message, his telephone rang. It was the florist, apologizing for having sent the wrong card. "Oh, it's alright." said the storekeeper. "I'm a businessman and I understand how these things can happen." "But," added the florist, "I accidentally sent your card to a funeral party." "Well, what did it say?" ask the storekeeper. "'Congratulations on your new location'." was the reply.

Three friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was< unfair.
He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close down, but they would not. He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get out of the business. They would not.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh McTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to persuade them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close their business. Terrified, they did so - thereby proving that:
Hugh, and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

A local florist just went out of business, but it was his own
fault. He kept getting his orders mixed up.
One woman received flowers sent by her husband, who was at a
business meeting in Florida. She was perplexed by the message on
her card: "Our deepest sympathy."
But she was not nearly as surprised as the woman whose husband
had just passed away. Her card read, "Hotter here than I
expected. Too bad you didn't come too."