Flower Jokes

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association. A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him. "What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor. "Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?" "A rose?" asked the neighbor. "Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.
A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.
"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.
"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"
"A rose?" asked the neighbor.
"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"

Two old men were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. One leaned over the other and said, "Cripes! life is boring. We never have any fun these days. For two bucks, I'd take my clothes off and streak through the flower show!"
"You're on!" said the other old fellow, holding up two dollars. As fast as he could, the first old man fumbled his way out of his clothes and completely naked, streaked through the front door of the town hall.
Waiting outside, his friend heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause. The naked old man burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"How did it go?" asked his friend.
"Great!" he said, "I WON FIRST PRIZE AS A DRIED ARRANGEMENT!!!"

You might be a reneck if...

The make, model, and license plate number of your truck are obscured by a layer of mud.

You have got more bumper stickers than children.

Your wife has ever taken two pairs of shoes to a funeral: one pair to trudge thru the wet Georgia red clay between the house and the pickup, and the other pair to wear at the funeral.

You have ever been in a funeral where the flower truck was a pickup, particularly if it belonged to one of the family, more particularly if it was yours.

You have ever had to stop at a car wash on the way to a funeral to wash the dump dirt from the back of your pickup so you can use it as a flower truck.

Your clawfoot bathtub has ever been unusable because your wife was using it as a brooder.

Your clawfoot bathtub sometimes serves as a hospital for injured fowl.

You have ever come home and heard a ruckus in the bathroom. When you looked in, one of the more...

Two old men were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was taking place.
One leaned over and grumbled to his friend, "Boy, life is so boring! We don't seem to have any fun anymore. For five bucks, I'd take off my clothes and streak through the flower show!"
"You're on!" his friend said, holding up a five dollar bill.
As quickly as he could, the first old man fumbled his way out of his clothes and, totally naked, streaked through the town hall's front door.
Waiting outside, his friend immediately heard a loud commotion, followed by deafening applause. Suddenly, the naked old man burst through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"What happened? How did it go?" his friend asked.
"Great!" the old streaker replied. "Look, I won first prize as a dried arrangement!"