Flower Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress One leaned over and said, "Life is so boring, we never have any fun anymore. For $5.00, I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!" "You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a $5.00 bill. As fast as she could, the first little old lady fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of the flower show. Waiting outside, her friend heard a huge commotion inside the hall, following by loud applause. The naked lady burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd. "How did you do?" asked her waiting friend. "Great! I just won first prize as Best Dried Arrangement!"

I sent flowers to someone who was moving to Florida for a job promotion. I also sent flowers the same day to a funeral for a friend. I found out later that the flower shop got the cards mixed up. They sent the card to the guy who was moving that said, "Deepest Condolences," and sent the card to the funeral home that said, "I know it's hot where you're going, but you deserve it."

Two old men were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. One leaned over the other and said, "Cripes! life is boring. We never have any fun these days. For two bucks, I'd take my clothes off and streak through the flower show!"
"You're on!" said the other old fellow, holding up two dollars. As fast as he could, the first old man fumbled his way out of his clothes and completely naked, streaked through the front door of the town hall.
Waiting outside, his friend heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause. The naked old man burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"How did it go?" asked his friend.
"Great!" he said, "I WON FIRST PRIZE AS A DRIED ARRANGEMENT!!!"

Two old men were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was taking place.
One leaned over and grumbled to his friend, "Boy, life is so boring! We don't seem to have any fun anymore. For five bucks, I'd take off my clothes and streak through the flower show!"
"You're on!" his friend said, holding up a five dollar bill.
As quickly as he could, the first old man fumbled his way out of his clothes and, totally naked, streaked through the town hall's front door.
Waiting outside, his friend immediately heard a loud commotion, followed by deafening applause. Suddenly, the naked old man burst through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"What happened? How did it go?" his friend asked.
"Great!" the old streaker replied. "Look, I won first prize as a dried arrangement!"

Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley checks estimates for the flower decoration of the altar.
The catholic florist - $ 300. "Too expensive" moans the priest.
The protestant florist - $ 250, "No, it would not be right to buy at another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather small." But lo! Solly Goldberg - $ 75!!!
Religion or economics? After much consideration, Solly obtains the contract.
On Easter Sunday morning, Goldberg's men deliver the flowers: wonderful roses, azaleas, camellias, tulips and carnations. O'Maley's last reservations are discarded.
When the parishioners arrive in the church, they see the magnificent flower arrangement and a ribbon with the inscription:
"Jesus has risen! But the prices of Goldberg always stay the same."

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Jim and his wife listened to the instructor declare: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the men: "For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Jim leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"
The rest of the story is not pleasant.

Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years.Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife. At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?"Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all.""Memory school? What memory school?"Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower. . . ""A rose?" asked Red."Yeah, that's it!" Gus turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey, Rose! What's the name of that memory school you sent me to?"